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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #critics, #aliens, #eat, #bug, #reptilian, #gerbil, #game show, #visionary, #television

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Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to a radio news broadcast. The newscaster says, "Critics continued their accusations that the management of Megaslime Corporation is made up of reptilian aliens from another planet." The newscaster continues, "A company spokesman offered to eat a bug and not enjoy it, thus proving they are not reptilian." The newscaster continues, "Critics responded by insisting on a live gerbil instead of a bug. Merv Griffin announced that he would launch a new game show based on the concept." Dogbert says, "The man is a visionary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #calculate, #bingo, #barry manilow, #carnegie hall, #nbc, #event, #invention, #burp

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My new invention can calculate the odds of any event." Dogbert asks, "What are the odds that I care?" Dilbert looks at the device he is holding and says, "Hmm . . . It says 'Same as the odds of being asked to burp the greatest hits of Barry Manilow at Carnegie Hall . . .'" Dilbert continues reading the display, "'. . . And having NBC buy the story rights and turn it into a docudrama.'" Dogbert says, "Bingo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #books, #self-help, #shoppers

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair typing. Dilbert looks over his shoulder and asks, "What are you writing?" Dogbert replies, "It's my new self-help book for compulsive shoppers." Dilbert asks, "What do YOU know about compulsive shoppers?" Dogbert replies, "I know they buy a lot of books."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #broccoli, #vegetables, #radiation

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Dilbert says to Dogbert who is sitting in his chair, "Don't get too close to my lab today." Dogbert asks, "Why not?" Dilbert answers, "I'm using radiation to mutate new species of vegetables." Dogbert asks, "Isn't that dangerous?" Dilbert replies, "Funny, the broccoli asked me the same question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #history of glue, #book

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. Dogbert asks, "How do you like your new book - 'The History of Glue?'" Dilbert replies, "I couldn't put it down." Dilbert and Dogbert look at each other.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cake, #frosting, #licked, #bad

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Dogbert stands at a table wearing a chef's hat. He says to Dilbert, "You're just in time to taste my new cake." Dilbert says, "Yum." Dilbert eats the cake and says, "Great cake, but shouldn't it have frosting?" Dogbert replies, "Oh no! Frosting is very bad for you." Dilbert walks away saying, "Gee, I never knew that frosting was bad for me." Dogbert says, "That's why I licked it all off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #pillow, #kitten, #copyright infringement, #Word

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Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I'd like to have a word with you." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "The neighbor says you glued little suction cups on their new kitten and stuck him on their windshield." Dogbert asks, "What's the problem, some kind of copyright infringement?" Dilbert asks, "What's your second guess?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #informal, #white house, #gorby, #gumby, #community

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "I'm enjoying the new informal approach at the White House." Dogbert continues, "I just hope it doesn't embarrass us in the international community." A White House aide stands in front of the President's desk next to Gumby. The President says, "Doggone it, I told you to set up a meeting with GORBY!" The aide thinks, "What's a Gorby?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hot line, #telephone, #forehead, #phone calls

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Dilbert points to a telephone on the desk and says to Dogbert, "This is the new 'hot line' phone to the Kremlin. My company won the bid to engineer the new model." Dilbert says as he walks away, "That's a fully functional prototype, so don't mess with it." Dogbert picks up the phone and says, "So, Gorby, I understand you've been finger-painting with your forehead . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hitchcock, #movie, #sequel, #alfred hitchcock, #the fish

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "Let's go see the new Alfred Hitchcock movie." Dilbert asks, "How could there be a 'new' Hitchcock movie?" Dogbert replies, "It's some kind of a sequel." Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a movie theater watching "Alfred Hitchcock presents The Fish."