New Company Concierge Comic Strips - Page 100

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View 991 - 1000 results for new company concierge comic strips. Discover the best "New Company Concierge" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1996's comic on:


Tags #brian, #work for comapny, #job interview, #practice interview, #done here, #lunch time, #don't see sandwhiches

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Dilbert and a man sit at a table. Dilbert says, "So tell me . . . Brian . . . Why do you want to work for this company?" The man replies, "Well, to be honest, I don't. I'm using this as a practice interview." Dilbert says, "I guess we're done here." Brian looks at his watch and says, "Hello-o-o!!! It's lunch time and I don't see sandwiches."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #monitor, #stressed out, #strategy, #downsizing, #big wuss

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Catbert stands on a monitor and says, "Are you stressed out, Wally? I have a solution." Catbert continues, "Start smoking. That way you'll have frequent company-sanctioned breaks throughout the day." Wally asks, "This is your strategy for downsizing, isn't it?" Catbert offers a pack of cigarettes to Wally and says, "Try it, you big wuss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #warning label, #cigarette box, #kill you right away, #come to your house, #Wally

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Wally looks at a pack of cigarettes and tells Dilbert, "I never noticed this warning label on my cigarettes before." Wally reads, "If this product doesn't kill you right away, the executives of our company will drive over to your house and finish the job. We know where you live, Wally. Quit now!" The Boss asks Dilbert, "Why am I paying for a color printer?" Dilbert replies, "It's also an air freshener if you know how to use it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #enter profession, #huge difference, #self esteem, #corporate trainer, #downsizing

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Ratbert sits on a file cabinet and tells Dilbert, "I'm going to enter a profession that will make a huge difference in my self-esteem." Ratbert continues, "I'll be a corporate trainer in a company that's downsizing." Dilbert asks, "Are you sure that will raise your self-esteem?" Ratbert asks, "Why would I want to RAISE it?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ntern, #elbonian data base, #installing, #bad movies, #password

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Ratbert sits at a desk. Asok stands behind him and asks, "I am only an intern, but may I make a suggestion?" Asok says, "The Elbonian database system you're installing for our company will never work . . . Unless I rewrite the entire thing with just six keystrokes . . . Done." Ratbert says, "I thought this was only possible in bad movies." Asok says, "Hey, let's hack into NATO's system. I can guess their password in three tries."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #marilyn vos savant, #smartest human alive, #often flier program, #phone comapny, #who saves most?, #brain scarred

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Dilbert sits at a table with stacks of brochures in front of him. Dogbert stands on the table and says, "This is Marilyn Vos Savant, the smartest human alive." A woman stands behind Dogbert. Dogbert says, "She will help you understand your airline 'Often Flier' program." Marilyn looks at a brochure and says, "I'm stumped." Dilbert asks, "After this, could you tell me which phone company saves me the most money?" Marilyn replies, "My brain's trying to escape; you scared it." Her brain crawls out her ear.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #pope showed up, #hotel concierge, #pay pope rate, #pope in line

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Dilbert stands at the reservation desk in a hotel. He says, "No rooms?? If the Pope showed up, would you have a room for HIM?" The clerk replies, "Yes." Dilbert says, "Okay, then give me HIS room!" He thinks, "I am so clever." Dilbert says, "Let's see you squirm out of THAT logic, weasel-girl." The Pope stands behind Dilbert.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #software license, #rumble, #prepare for assimilation

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit on the armrest of the couch. Dogbert says, ". . . So you didn't read the software license and you inadvertently agreed to be Bill Gates' towel boy in his huge new house. When do we move?" They hear a rumbling noise and the house shakes. A machine crashes through the wall and says, "Prepare for assimilation." Dilbert says, "The house has come for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 1997's comic on:


Tags #canceling life insurance, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #extend vacations, #family freindly, #no longer allow, #remove incentives, #time off for death, #kill relatives

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Catbert stands at his desk and types, "Effective immediately, the company will no longer allow time off for the death of a family member." Catbert continues, "This 'family friendly' policy will remove your incentive to extend vacations by killing relatives." Catbert continues, "And more good news: we're canceling your life insurance so your family won't try to snuff you out either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #reduce expenses, #essentail jobs, #business cards, #borrow some

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In order to reduce expenses, only the employees in essential jobs may have business cards." Wally, Dilbert and Alice think, "I'd better order some business cards to find out if I'm 'essential.'" The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, order some new business cards for me." Carol replies, "Ooh. No can do. But you can borrow some of mine."