Search Results for "new era system"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #pronouned hay-soos, #fixed eye sight, #hair regrow, #40 shares, #punch pilot light, #ceo, #team organizer

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-soos. Wally: The new team leader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO. For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch. CEO: I'll punch his pilot light out!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #date, #stories of woe, #no tv or internet, #carving canoe, #woman runs out

View Transcript

Transcript

My cable system wasn't working last night. I didn't have TV or internet. Dilbert: So I stared at the wall until it was time for bed. I considered carving a canoe out of a tree trunk, but it seemed like a lot of work. Woman: Check!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2008's comic on:


Tags #coffee maker, #meeting, #not enough money, #raise, #too much, #budget, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I'd like to give you a raise but I used the entire budget on a new coffee maker. It's a nice one.There's talk that I paid too much for you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #coffe maker, #aggressive, #machine, #contraption, #big, #metal, #fierce, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You must be the new coffee machine. Thoop! It's aggressive, but I like that in my coffee makers."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #preventer of info systems, #authorized, #illegal access, #zap

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac, the preventer of information services Mordac: Do you know how the system distinguishes between authorized and illegal access? ZAP! Mordac: It doesn't." "ha ha!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #fixed satellite, #surround sound, #water filter, #dates fix it guys

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I fixed your satellite dish connection and tuned your surround sound system. Now can we go on our date?" A womany says, "That was our date. In ten minutes I'm dating a guy who will replace the water filter in my refrigerator." Dilbert says, "I can do that." A woman says, "You're welcome to stay and fight him for it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2008's comic on:


Tags #churn butter, #needs, #next budget cycle, #not in budget, #broken computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My computer is broken. I need a new one." The Boss says, "We don't have the budget." The Boss says, "Do things that don't require a computer until the next budget cycle." Dilbert says, "Like churning my own butter?" The Boss says, "You make it sound creepy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #rumor control, #paid per rumor, #terrorit training campo, #exotic dancer, #weekends

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2008's comic on:


Tags #moral compass, #healed, #position of power, #narrow gap, #executive pay, #worker pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My moral compass has healed. Can I keep my new job in management?" Dilbert says, "I'd like to use my position of power to narrow the gap between executive and worker pay."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #online job posting, #fantasize, #enjoyable job, #cubilce, #boss, #busted

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice thinks, "I'm addicted to our online job posting system." Alice thinks, "It helps me fantasize about having a job I could enjoy." The Boss thinks, "This can't be good." Alice says, "Oooh!"