One Condition Comic Strips - Page 100
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1000 Results for One Condition
View 991 - 1000 results for one condition comic strips. Discover the best "One Condition" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday November 25,
2005
Tags #cubicle cockroach, #working hardly, #kill it, #flame thrower
Transcript
"Good morning, Alice!" "Uh-oh, a cubicle cockroach." "Are you working hard or hardly working? Ha ha!" "I must find a way to kill it." "Do you have a flame thrower?" "I can't complain; no one would listen!"
Tuesday November 29,
2005
Tags #two ceos, #top job, #syockholders, #average employees slaary
Transcript
"After the merger, we'll have two CEOs sharing the top job." "A spokesperson explained 'If our stockholders don't mind paying one CEO 450 times the average employee's salary..." "...They shouldn't mind doing it twice.'"
Wednesday December 07,
2005
Tags #bed idea, #new sourpuss, #optimism, #leadership 90 5 opitimism
Transcript
"Meet our new Sourpuss." "I heard that every office has one. And we didn't, so I went out and got one." "Does anything ever sound like a bad idea to you?" "Leadership is 90% optimism."
Monday December 12,
2005
Tags #ran six miles, #topper, #hopped to work, #broken leg, #better, #more better
Transcript
Topper "I ran six miles even though I was sore." "That's nothing." "I broke my leg and hopped all the way to work this morning." "You hopped 40 miles on your one good leg?" "On the broken one."
Wednesday December 21,
2005
Tags #charging time, #projects, #no work, #wind, #existence of your wind, #farting around
Transcript
"Wally, you've been charging your time to several projects, but no one has ever seen you work." "You can't see the wind, either, but surely you don't doubt that it exists." "I've also gotten complaints about the existence of your wind." "I rest my case."
Monday December 26,
2005
Tags #less money, #use bydget, #flexible, #approving expenses
Transcript
"I need to use up my budget before the end of the year or else I'll get less next year." "So I'll be flexible about approving expenses for a few days. Wink, wink." "Nice coffee-holding panda." "You should see the one that isn't pregnant."
Tuesday December 27,
2005
Tags #try rebooting, #tech support, #clone yourself, #adoption, #notice bugs, #slapped 1.0 together, #parents
Transcript
Dogbert's Tech Support "Try rebooting yourself." "Clone yourself, put the clone up for adoption, and hope intelligence can be influenced by the environment." "Evidently your parents slapped together Version 1.0 of you and hoped no one would notice the bugs..."
Monday January 02,
2006
Tags #suggestions, #audience, #readers, #resist perl pressure, #unfunny comic, #connect to network, #email, #note from author
Transcript
Note from the author "Approximately one gazillion people have suggested I draw a comic based on the following idea." "As you will see, this idea is not funny. But I give it to you anyway because I can't resist peer pressure." Unfunny Comic If you can't connect to the network, send a trouble report by e-mail. "Happy?"
Wednesday January 18,
2006
Transcript
"Dilbert, come up with a plan to integrate our product with the one we acquired through the merger." "Okay. My plan is to throw away the competitor's product because it's just a cheap knock-off of our product." "How about a plan that doesn't make our CEO look like a moron?" "He could stop wearing sleeveless sweaters."