Search Results for "one solution"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.
991 - 1000 of 1000

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2005's comic on:

Tags #emotionally unstable coworkers, #prescribe meds, #wrong choice, #defects

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: All of your problems are caused by emotionally unstable coworkers. "Try prescribing meds from the internet to fix their defects." Dilbert: Okay. That one was the wrong choice. Let's try something else." The Boss: "GRRRR!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2005's comic on:

Tags #nickname, #the wizard, #my guru, #the lizard, #small brain, #ambition, #catches quicker

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "From now on, my nickname ill be "the wizard." It wpeaks to my guru status." Alice: "I think I'll call you "the lizard." IT speaks to your small brain and lack of ambition." wally: "Please don't." Alice: "Let's see which one catches on quicker."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2005's comic on:

Tags #slight promotion, #pay same, #cucblice larger, #shaving the walls

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Asok, I decided to give you a slight promotion!" Asok: "Gasp! A slight promotion!" The Boss: "The pay will be the same but you can make your cubicle slighlty larger by shaving the ragged fabric on the inside walls." "Your new title is spelled just like the old one but it's pronounced totally differently." "ZZZZZ"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2005's comic on:

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #help balancing, #personal life, #no love, #sound sunhealthy, #pill crybaby, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. "I need help balancing my career with my personal life." "I recommend a book called "No one will ever love you." It'll crush your hope for a personal life and free up more time for work." "That sounds unhealthy." "Take a pill, crybaby."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2005's comic on:

Tags #good advice, #balance, #personal life, #zen approach, #no freinds, #no work, #perfect balance, #zen, #faster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2005's comic on:

Tags #manager sounding voice, #promotion to management, #no qualifications

View Transcript

Transcript

"Congratulations, Alice. You're one of my two candidates for the promotion to management." "The other candidate has no qualifications except for his manager-sounding voice." "And he doesn't make that face.:

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2005's comic on:

Tags #holding up wall, #new structural engineer, #wall fell

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: what are you doing holding up the wall? Zing that was a good one. Dilbert: Have you met the new structural engineer?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2005's comic on:

Tags #good people quit, #wretched, #incompetent, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: "Have you ever noticed all of the good people quit?" Dilbert: "There's no one left her bu wretched, incompetent, lazy miscreants" wally: "A-A-nyhoo."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2005's comic on:

Tags #evil director, #office efficency, #celebrated, #done forevre, #feel special

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources In order to improve office efficiency, all birthdays will be celebrated on the same day." "Do you mean one clebration per year, or just once and then we're done forever?" "Just once." "Well, at least I'll feel special once. What day is the celebration?" "Yesterday."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2005's comic on:

Tags #batch of tiger meat, #project, #chanllenging, #delight stockholders, #not challenging, #less motivated

View Transcript

Transcript

"I"m ready for a new batch of tiger meat. Grrr!" "I want a project that will challenge my abilities, bring glory to the company and delight our shareholders!" "How about this one?" "Nope. Not challenging enough. I'll give it to one of the less motivated employees."