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View 991 - 1000 results for pummel with fists comic strips. Discover the best "Pummel With Fists" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invented quantum computer, solve complex equations, chaos theroy, shift destiny, possibly killing inhabitants, shift happens

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table looking at a device. Dilbert says, "I've invented a quantum computer, capable of interacting with matter from other universes to solve complex equations." Dogbert says, "According to chaos theory, your tiny change to another universe will shift its destiny, possibly killing every inhabitant." Dilbert replies, "Shift happens." Dogbert says, "Fire it up."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags banning cartoons, anti management, hurt morale, banning humor, raise morale, not funny

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The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm banning the posting of anti-management cartoons in the office. They hurt morale." Dilbert asks, "You're banning humor to raise morale?" The Boss asks, "Is there something wrong with that?" Dilbert shows the Boss a newspaper and says, "It's the subject of today's cartoon." The Boss asks, "And you see how it's not funny?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags going on vacation, compile our inputs, highest human potential

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Dilbert sits at his desk with Dogbert. A voice yells, "Hey, Dilbert! You'll never be hungry as long as you're workin' in this strip . . ." Billy from "Family Circus" says, ". . . 'Cause you're sure of THREE SQUARES every day!" Billy continues, "Some of us hafta keep goin' around in circles!" Dilbert says into the telephone, "Security?" (This strip was drawn by Bill Keane, creator of "Family Circus," for April Fools' Day.)

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family friendly policies, higher profits, high profits, true costs, camouflage, five minute break

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A woman points at a chart and says, "My study shows that the companies with 'Family Friendly' policies have higher profits." Dilbert sits in the audience with Wally, Alice and other employees. He raises his hand and says, "Question: Do family policies cause high profits or do high profits simply camouflage the true costs of the policies?" The woman says, "We'll take a five-minute break so the married people can slap you for asking that." Dilbert says, "Ouch!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design product brochure, criminal fraud, marketing, not worng, conscience, marketing epople, business

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "I want you to work with our marketing people to design a product brochure." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "Remember, what we do here might seem like criminal fraud but it's not. It's marketing!" Dilbert says, "Okay, as long as it's not wrong . . ." The man says, "Here's a jar to keep your conscience in. I'll put it in the closet with mine."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags designing a brochure, emphasize things, product unique, higher prices, stale technology, fewer feature

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The caption says, "Designing a brochure." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. Dilbert says, "We'll want to emphasize the things that make our product unique." The man says, "Good good." Dilbert says, "Let's see . . . We have higher prices . . . Stale technology . . . Fewer features . . . And it's hard to use." Dilbert asks, "Can you work with that?" The man replies, "Suddenly I don't feel so bad that we won't be using 100 percent recycled paper."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invented first web browser, garbage man, flashback, computer, waiting fro nothing, out of hand, blame on college kid, technology

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk in the park. Dilbert is wearing a sweatshirt. Dilbert asks, "Are you telling me that YOU invented the first Web browser?" Dogbert replies, "Not alone. I worked with our garbage man." The caption says, "Flashback." Dogbert sits on a garbage can and tells the garbage man, "I wonder how long people would sit in front of a computer waiting for nothing." The garbage man replies, "Let's find out!" They sit at a computer. The garbage man asks, "What if this thing gets out of hand?" Dogbert replies, "We'll blame it on some drunken college kid."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flashback, first web browser, prank, people waiting aorund, nothing happening

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The caption says, "Flashback to the invention of the first Web browser." Dogbert and the garbage man sit at a computer. The garbage man asks, "What should we call our prank, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Well, it's designed to make millions of people sit around waiting for nothing to happen . . ." The caption says, "A few years later." A skeleton sits at a computer with a spider web attached to him and the monitor. The man says, "Hey, I can almost see a recognizable blotch! This is awesome!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product requirements, design prodcut, doomed projects

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The Boss says, "Wally, we don't have time to gather the product requirements ahead of time." The Boss continues, "I want you to start designing the product anyway. Otherwise it will look like we aren't accomplishing anything." Wally sits with his feet up on the desk. He reads the newspaper and thinks, "Of all my projects, I like the doomed ones best."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags folded arms, important one, physically impossible, third project, finish both products

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Dilbert stands at the Boss's desk and says, "It is physically impossible for me to finish both of my projects on time. Which one is more important?" The Boss says, "Hmm . . . If I absolutely HAD to choose between them, I'd say . . . Do them both on time." Dilbert says, "Wow. When you do that with your arms, it creates the illusion that you're thinking." The Boss says, "What you need is a third project."