Right Meeting Comic Strips - Page 100

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #boss, #raise, #political capital, #business

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The Boss: If I try to give you the raise you deserve, the people above me will just reduce it. Alice: Maybe you could use some of your political capital to argue my case. The Boss: Maybe not.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jesus, #leader, #team leader, #in need, #12 people, #upgrade systems, #lunch meeting, #bed feelings, #savior, #office

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It's pronounced Hay-soos. Jesus: My name is Jesus, and I seek twelve people to work on my project. I am the saver of databases. Join me to upgrade our systems. Jesus: First, we're all going to lunch. Asok: I have a bad feeling about this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illusion of value, #meeting, #obvious, #maintain illusion, #business

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Dilbert: It's obvious what I need to do next. But I'll let you tell me so you can maintain the illusion of value. The Boss: stop being this way. Dilbert: I saw that coming a mile away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee maker, #meeting, #not enough money, #raise, #too much, #budget, #business

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The boss: I'd like to give you a raise but I used the entire budget on a new coffee maker. It's a nice one.There's talk that I paid too much for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #represent boss, #imitate hair style, #mocking, #silly, #anger

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Alice: My boss sent me to represent him at this meeting. Fuh-fuh-fuh everything costs too much. Fuh-fuh-fuh we don't have enough resources! Ted: That doesn't help us. Alice: Hey, I'm not the one who invited him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spaceman, #millennium genration, #digital age, #myspace.com.planet, #rule planet, #upper body

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Spaceman: Greetings, Troglodytes. I am from the millennium generation." "I was forged in the digital age. I will use my knowledge of myspace.com and youtube and e-mail to rule this planet. Buwha-haha!!!" Dilbert: Wow, you're right. He doesn't have much upper body strength." Trash

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #marketing, #engineers, #percentage increase, #trivial base, #stink eye, #business

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Thanks to marketing. Sales have increased 100%! Dilbert: Question: are you asking a room full of engineers to be excited about a big percentage increase over a trivial base?" Ted You leave me no choice but to give you the stink eye. Dilbert: Ow! Ow! Make it stop!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #creature, #employee, #licks face, #meeting, #strategic alliance, #tongue, #business

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The Boss says, "We could only find one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance with us." The Boss says, "Admiral B'Tang-B'tang is here to describe how we can help each other." foop! The Boss says, "Stop saying 'foop', Ted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assigned same project, #discovered, #one month agao, #50% chance

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Dilbert: We just discovered that you assigned the same project to both of us a month ago. The Boss: Sometimes I do that when I think neither of you has more than a 50% chance of doing something right. Asok: Hey, I just discovered something. The Boss: Or 33.3%"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting with boss, #vendors, #customers, #please kill me

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The Boss says, "Asok, you never mentioned any issues this quarter, so I assume you didn't do any work." A man says, "Ooooh, lordy lord! Our vendors are incompetent and our customers are suing us!!!" The Boss says, "Why can't you be more like that guy?" A man says, "Someone please kill me!"