Spend Time Fighting Comic Strips - Page 100
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1000 Results for Spend Time Fighting
View 991 - 1000 results for spend time fighting comic strips. Discover the best "Spend Time Fighting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 21,
2013
Tags #catch, #fall, #fall back, #frustration, #gone wrong, #learn trust, #lesson, #questioning, #test fall, #tolerate co owrkers
Transcript
Asok: Wally, how can I learn to tolerate my co-workers? Wally: It is time for you to learn about trust, Asok. Let me show you. Turn around. This is called the "trust fall." You fall backward and trust me to catch you... go. Asok: Why didn't you catch me?!!! Wally: It wouldn't be trust if it worked every time. Asok: What kind of lesson is that? Wally: This is how I tolerate my co-workers.
Friday May 17,
2013
Tags #annoyance, #cubicle, #in box, #neat cubicle, #document, #on chair, #desk chair
Transcript
Alice: Gaaa!!! Every time I leave my cubicle, someone puts a document on my chair! I have an in-ox! Stop leaving stuff in my chair!!! Dilbert: How do you keep your cubicle so neat? Wally: I put everything on Alice's chair.
Tuesday May 28,
2013
Tags #complaining, #fear, #opinion of plan, #rip off arms, #track down family, #kill family, #india, #Advice, #giving advice
Transcript
Asok: I'm afraid to give Alice my opinion of her plan. Dilbert: What's the worst thing that could happen? Asok: She could rip off both of my arms and beat me to death with them. Then she could track down my family in India and kill them one by one. Is this your first time giving advice? Dilbert: I just figured out why no one ever asks for it.
Thursday May 30,
2013
Tags #ex ceo, #executives, #generous, #negotiated, #severance package, #wages, #robotic flea, #giant flea, #money
Transcript
Catbert: Our es-CEO negotiated an unusually generous severance package. We had to build a giant robotic flea to suck the assets out of the company. The weird part is that it seemed reasonable at the time.
Thursday June 06,
2013
Tags #cats & kittens, #physics, #famous physicist, #zombie
Transcript
Catbert: This is Wulf. He used to work for a famous physicist named Schrodinger. He escaped before the experiment was finished and now he's both alive and dead at the same time. Dilbert: Like a zombie? Catbert: Uh-oh. Wulf: Wow. I have half a mind to be offended by that.
Friday June 07,
2013
Tags #afterlife, #death & dying, #zombie, #truth about afterlife, #projecting, #curiosity
Transcript
Wulf: I was Schrodinger's cat back in the day. That's why I'm alive and dead at the same time. I know the truth about the afterlife because my dead half told my living half all about it. Do you want to know what happens? Wally: Stop projecting your curiosity on me.
Friday June 28,
2013
Tags #absent mindedness, #interviews, #unemployed, #out of work, #rising a bike, #swivel, #fall, #chair
Transcript
Boss: I'm concerned because you've been out of work for such a long time. Interviewee: It's like riding a bicycle. Once you learn, you always know how. Boss: Are you okay? Interviewee: Did chairs always swivel?
Saturday June 29,
2013
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #internet & world wide web, #binder, #cloud
Transcript
Boss: Alan has been out of the workforce for a long time. I need you to ease him back in. Coworker: Do you have a binder of the company policies? Dilbert: It's in the cloud.
Tuesday July 16,
2013
Tags #work ethic, #work best, #under pressure, #deadline, #corner stone
Transcript
Coworker: Wally, are you almost done with your part of the project? Wally: I work best under pressure, so I wait until the deadline is almost here. Coworker: What if something more important comes up and you don't have time? Wally: That's the cornerstone of my system.
Friday July 26,
2013
Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #ethics course, #failed ethics, #engineer, #grasp, #fast track, #management, #corrupt, #business, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: You failed the online ethics course for the third time. You can't be an engineer for this company if you have no grasp of business ethics. You leave me no choice. I'm putting you on the management fast track. Wally: Huh.