Strong Job Market Comic Strips - Page 100
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1000 Results for Strong Job Market
View 991 - 1000 results for strong job market comic strips. Discover the best "Strong Job Market" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 10,
2018
Ted Tries To Sabotage
Tags #Dilbert, #carol, #ted, #sabotage, #project, #insecure
Transcript
Carol: Ted is trying to sabotage my project because he is so insecure. Dilbert: Is it possible you're imagining all of that and he is just doing his job? Carol: I was hoping you'd be supportive. Dilbert: I like to be on the winning side.
Saturday August 11,
2018
Speaking Truth To Power
Tags #ted, #the boss, #performance review, #perform, #power
Transcript
Performance Review The Boss: I've seen a lot of employees in my day, and you are definitely one of them. Ted: Are you saying generic things because you don't know what my job is or how well I performed? The boss: And... You speak truth to power. Ted: Please stop.
Friday September 28,
2018
Everyone Does Their Job
Tags #coffee, #deadline, #Dilbert, #fashion, #jobs, #negative, #woman and dating
Transcript
Dilbert: We'll be ready by your deadline if everyone does their jobs in a timely fashion. Woman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It has never happened. Woman: Then you're saying you won't be ready by the deadline. Dilbert: Why must you be so negative?
Sunday October 21,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #scripts, #software, #project, #hardware, #tests, #version, #final, #release, #volunteering, #testing, #player
Transcript
The Boss: I need someone to run some test scripts on the new software. Dilbert: I can do that my project is on hold until the new hardware arrives. The Boss: Great, I'll need you to run the same tests on every version until final release. Dilbert: Um... I was only volunteering to do it once it isn't my job to do all the testing. The Boss: Too late. You're the test script guy now. Dilbert: You're adding an entirely new job to my existing job! The Boss: Don't you want to be a team player? Dilbert: Of course I do. The Boss: Good. I just put you on the losing team.
Sunday November 04,
2018
Tags #Advice, #business, #criticism, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers
Transcript
Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.
Monday October 22,
2018
Catbert Personality Test
Tags #Catbert, #applicants, #personality, #test, #reliable, #Astrology, #reliability
Transcript
Catbert: All job applicants must take the Catbert personality test to see how well they will fit into our culture. Studies show the test is twice as reliable as using astrology alone. Man: Astrology has zero reliability. Catbert: You're not a good fit.
Tuesday October 30,
2018
Intentionally Underbidding
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #intentionally, #underbidding, #extra-shoddy, #work, #grossly, #overcharging, #upgrades, #criminal, #organization, #proven
Transcript
The Boss: We won the job by intentionally underbidding. But we can close the profit gap by doing extra-shoddy work and grossly overcharging for upgrades. Dilbert: Are we a criminal organization? The Boss: Not in a way that can easily be proven.
Thursday November 01,
2018
Exceeding Expectations
Tags #employees, #employment, #job, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #salary
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a bonus because you haven't exceeded my expectations. Dilbert: Did you expect me to exceed your expectations? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: It is logically impossible to exceed your expectations when you expect me to do it. Boss: No bonus!!!
Sunday November 25,
2018
Tags #career, #employees, #office, #office workers, #training, #trick, #sabatoge
Transcript
Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?
Thursday November 15,
2018
Complaining Versus Hiding
Tags #boss, #complaining, #employees, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors
Transcript
Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.