Talk Now Wally Comic Strips - Page 100

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View 991 - 1000 results for talk now wally comic strips. Discover the best "Talk Now Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disguise arousal, #jerk magnet, #talk to death, #turkey deceased, #sandwhich

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Tina and Dilbert sit at a table eating lunch. Tina says, "I always fall for the wrong guys. I'm a jerk magnet." Dilbert says, "Tina, the turkey in your sandwich is already deceased. You don't have to talk it to death." Tina clenches her teeth and her fists. She thinks, "I must disguise my arousal." Dilbert says, "Hey, look! We're eating exactly the same quantities for lunch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #body rejected, #payment technology, #smart card, #body rejected card

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Dilbert hands the Boss a card and says, "It's called a 'Smart Card,' and we should build our next product to handle this sort of payment technology." Dilbert and Wally watch as the card jumps out of the Boss's hand. Dilbert says, "I've never seen that happen." Wally says, "His body rejected the 'Smart Card.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profits down, #morale down, #anti management cartoons, #hang cubicle walls, #mission statement

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The Boss sits at his desk thinking, "Profits are down. Morale is low. What is the root problem?" The Boss thinks, "It's got to be those anti-management cartoons the employees hang on their cubicle walls!" The Boss looks at the comic strips hanging on Wally's cubicle. The Boss says, "And they aren't even funny." Wally points to a strip and says, "This one has our mission statement."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project reuirements, #was for nothing, #believes you did work, #homemade cookies

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Wally and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "Wally, I forgot to tell you that all of the project requirements changed." Wally shouts, "What?!! All my work was for nothing?!!" The man looks shocked. Dilbert asks, "He actually believes you did work?" Wally replies, "I think I'll get some homemade cookies out of this!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reduce expenses, #essentail jobs, #business cards, #borrow some

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In order to reduce expenses, only the employees in essential jobs may have business cards." Wally, Dilbert and Alice think, "I'd better order some business cards to find out if I'm 'essential.'" The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, order some new business cards for me." Carol replies, "Ooh. No can do. But you can borrow some of mine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loud conversation, #cubicle, #goaway, #pound head, #strange noise, #alice threatens

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A man and a woman stand outside Alice's cubicle. Alice says, "I hate to interrupt your loud conversation outside my cubicle . . ." Alice continues, "But it you don't go away, I'll pound your inconsiderate head so far into your torso that you have to drop your pants to say hello." Wally asks Dilbert, "Did you just hear a strange noise?" Dilbert says, "It sounded like, 'Melp! Melp!'" Nearby, a man's head protrudes from his pants.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company training, #hope to learn, #bad toupee, #dead animal, #freak of nature, #general

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The caption says, "Company Training." The instructor stands at the front of the room and says, "Let's go around the room and we'll each say what we hope to learn." Alice, Wally and several other people sit in the audience. Alice says, "I hope to learn whether that thing on your head is a bad toupee, a dead animal, or a hideous freak of nature." The instructor pauses before writing on the easel and asks, "Can I call that 'general'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new org chart, #graphical lay out, #mentor

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Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "The new org chart has my name lower than yours, but it doesn't mean anything." Dilbert shows Wally the chart and says, "See? It wouldn't all fit across the page. It's just a graphical layout thing, that's all." Alice holds out her coffee mug and says, "Hey, Dil-boy, put a head on this and fetch my mail." Wally asks Dilbert, "Are you asking me to be your mentor?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #life insurance policy, #pay premiums, #collect insurance, #valuable, #company, #don't like cats, #business

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Catbert and Wally sit at a table. Catbert says, "The company has taken out a life insurance policy on you, Wally." Catbert continues, "We pay the premiums and we collect the insurance when you die." Wally looks at the policy and asks, "Is this because I'm so valuable to the company?" Catbert replies, "It's because we think you'll be more valuable dead." Wally says, "This is exactly why I don't like cats."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joking and grumbling, #life insurance, #catered lunch meetings, #discuss feelings, #mad cow burger, #chicken bone surpise

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "There's been a lot of joking and grumbling since the company took out life insurance policies on all of you." The Boss continues, "So we're having these catered lunch meetings to discuss your feelings." Carol, the Boss's secretary, brings a bag of food into the room. Carol takes a sandwich out of the bag and asks, "Do you want the mad cow burger or the chicken bone surprise?"