Useful Work Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Useful Work

View 991 - 1000 results for useful work comic strips. Discover the best "Useful Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #paul tergeist, #computer, #shoots up, #falls on head, #Dilbert, #coworker, #monitor head

View Transcript

Transcript

Paul Tergeist is sitting with Dilbert in front of the computer at Dilbert's cubicle. Paul says: "This technology will work or my name isn't Paul Tergeist." Suddently, the monitor rockets into the air. The two watch it with stupefaction as it ascends. The monitor lands on Dilbert's head. Paul says: "I wish I had a nickel for every time that happened to a co-worker." Dilbert simply says: "Ow."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pot luck, #drop dish, #groceries, #employee appreciation luncheon

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss writes an e-mail to Dilbert: "The Employee Appreciation Luncheon will be potluck." Dilbert reads the rest of the e-mail: "Drop off your dish at my house on your way to work." The Boss thinks: "If this works, I'll never need to buy groceries again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discover shared vision, #foster enrollment, #compliance, #modify conceptual map, #organizational complexity

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally asks the Boss: "Should I be trying to discover a shared vision that will foster enrollment rather than compliance?" He continues: "Or should I modify my conceptual map to focus on organizational complexity?" The Boss asks: "Is any of that the same as work?" Wally replies: "It pays the same."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #skydiving, #planting false memories, #subconscious, #college, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the sofa. Dogbert, who is sitting atop the back of the couch, asks Dilbert "Remember the time you went skydiving?" Dilbert replies with the TV remote in hand, "No." Dogbert says, "You will. I'm planting false memories in your subconscious." Dilbert replies, "It won't work." Dogbert says, "But you believe you went to college, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil hr director, #offered stock incentives, #working hard enogh, #beating customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, now acting as the Evil H.R. director, aks Dilbert "Would you work harder if we offerec stock incentives." Dilbert responds, "Yes." Catbert asks, "So you admit you're not working hard enough now?" Dilbert replies unsure "Umm..." Catbert goes on to ask Dilbert, "Lastly, are you still beating up customers?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #weaknesses need improvement, #become invisible, #blurry, #multitasking, #too often

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Dilbert, "Do you have any weaknesses that need improvement?" Dilbert replies, "Sometimes I work so fast that I become invisible." Dilbert goes on to say, "If I seem blurry right now, it's because I'm multi-tasking." The Boss thinks to himself, "Once a year is way too often for this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #18 hour days, #industry, #competitors die trying, #match

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "You've got to work eighteen hours a day to compete in this industry!" Dilbert cunningly says, "Let's just say we work eighteen hours a day. Maybe our competitors will die trying to match us." The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would that work?" Dilbert answers, "It almost worked for us."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #adventures of lulu, #no sense of proportion, #assinment, #work, #declares war, #anger, #resentment

View Transcript

Transcript

The adventures of LULU The woman who has no sense of proportion. GAAA! Does this mean you hate me?!! The Boss: Its called and assignment. LULU: This is war.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company a, #dogbert consults, #free sample, #web strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the consultant says to the Boss, "Here's a free sample of my work." The Boss says to Dobgert as he reads the booklet, "So company 'A' was managed by idiots with no web strategy." The Boss asks Dogbert, "What would you recommend for my company?" Dogert replies, "First, change its name to 'A'.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resume, #sarcasm, #slave to company, #supportiveness, #undesirable location, #potential slave

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert works on his resume at work. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "There...my resume is done. I will no longer be a slave to my company." Dogbert, now irritated says to Dilbert, "Yeah! Now you're a potential slave for a company in an undesirable location!" Dilbert turns to look and Dogbert and asks, "Was that sarcasm or supportiveness?" Dogbert replies, "You only think there's a difference."