Want Drinking Enough Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Want Drinking Enough

View 991 - 1000 results for want drinking enough comic strips. Discover the best "Want Drinking Enough" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Has A Ravine Option

Thank you for voting.
Ted Has A Ravine Option - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #empathy, #hr, #human resources, #mean, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Ted: Dilbert said he wants me to drive into a ravine. Catbert: I want that too. I didn't realize it was an option. Ted: Perhaps I have come tot he wrong place. Catbert: I hear good things about the ravine.

Change To Bad Design

Thank you for voting.
Change To Bad Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #link, #traffic, #design, #color, #Opinion, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you make that link button blue instead of burnt orange? Dilbert: Yes, if you want people to click on it, and you thrive on bad design. Boss: I have an eye for design. Dilbert: And I have an elbow for music.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #overanalyzing, #asking out, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.

Wally's Lateness Excuse

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Lateness Excuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #excuse, #lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why are you two hours late for work? Wally: Your wife didn't want to bother you, so she called me and asked if I would go to your house and see if she left her curling iron plugged in. Do you believe me, or do you want to risk being the first person she calls next time. Boss: Well played.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #internet, #viral video, #awkward, #interaction, #insult, #cell phone, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you see the viral video of the kitten riding the zebra? Dilbert: I know where this is heading and I don't like it. You're going to spend the next ten minutes looking for that video on your phone while we wait. Boss: It will only take a second. Dilbert: And so it begins. Boss: Here it is. No, wait. Dang. Wrong one. Okay, here it is. Oops, no, wrong one. Narrator: Ten minutes later. Boss: What do you think? Dilbert: I can't see it because you keep moving. Boss: I would let you hold it, but I don't want your germs on my phone. Dilbert: There are a lot of unsatisfying parts to this interaction. Wally: Now my coffee is cold.

Self Empowered Week

Thank you for voting.
Self Empowered Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #aspirations, #work ethic, #standards, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.

Boss Can't Be Your Friend

Thank you for voting.
Boss Can't Be Your Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.

Deciding Which Liar You Prefer

Thank you for voting.
Deciding Which Liar You Prefer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #choices, #voting, #election, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.

Presidential Role Model

Thank you for voting.
Presidential Role Model - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #role model, #example, #election, #candidate, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need a president who can be a good role model for my kids. Dilbert: That will come in handy if your kids want to raise your taxes or veto a transportation bill. Boss: Why do I talk to you? Dilbert: I assume you do it to gain wisdom.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #design, #engineering, #interface, #ui, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I simplified the user interface as you suggested. You wanted one button to do eleven different functions. It wasn't easy, but I think you'll be pleased. If you want me to turn up the volume... you hold the button down for exactly five seconds... then double-tap, and double-tap again. Then hold for exactly six seconds. Then press it all the way down, then halfway up, then 27 percent back down. And hold for nine seconds. Or you could admit that you don't know anything about interface design. Boss: Never!