Will Die Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Will Die

View 991 - 1000 results for will die comic strips. Discover the best "Will Die" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career day, #questions, #careers, #connected dots, #generational

View Transcript

Transcript

Career Day The Boss: ...and thats why you should have a pre meeting before every meeting. any questions? Girl: how long will my generation need to work? The Boss: Sixty years. I see that you've connected the dots.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #been excessed, #yoga move, #rageful comments, #hope for a hug, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources "Your position has been excessed, or as I prefer to say..." "I will tear the flesh from your bones!" "Phew! I love that yoga move." "There is like, no hope for a hug, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales drop, #invent something, #everyone wants, #visionary leadership, #demands of boss, #unreasonable demands on staff, #money making, #shortfalls

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Sales are dropping like a rock. Our plan is to invent some sort of doohickey that everyone wants to buy. The visionary leadership work is done, How long will your part take.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #show one house, #lying real estate agent, #loser

View Transcript

Transcript

The real estate agent dogcart: if you don't buy the house I showed you someone else will. and every time it appreciates another million dollars you will cry out, "why was I so stupid?! why?! Why?!" And I'll be all, "Loser! LO-O-O - sir!" are you really not allowed to show me more than one house?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #secreatry, #secret society, #executive secreataries, #rule the world, #own secreatries, #Women, #meeting, #take over the world, #evil overlords, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #science of fengshui, #technical merits, #witch doctor, #astrologer, #cutomer

View Transcript

Transcript

Visiting a customer "Our office was designed with the science of Feng Shui." "Should I describe the technical merits of our product or will you be consulting with a witch doctor?" "Oops. Sorry. That one snuck up on me." "He's an astrologer, not at witch doctor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget cut, #25% budget cut, #ulcers, #heart disease, #product, #envy, #mysterious pustles

View Transcript

Transcript

"If I cut you product development budget by 25%, what could you develop?" "Ulcers, heart disease and maybe mysterious pustules." "How about the product itself?" "It will envy me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pantless prima donna, #smithsonian, #framed, #the louvre

View Transcript

Transcript

Pantless prima donna I demand an assistant to document my miracles. That which I touch will be tagged for the smith Usonian, That which I create will be framed for the louver. Asok: really? and exciting assignment? what is it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prima donna, #never produced anything, #except arrogance, #noise, #ta-da, #case closed, #stand behind, #end sentences

View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, I want you to work for the prima donna. Do what ever he tells you." "May I point out that he has never produced anything except arrogance and noise?" "You will stand behind me, and when I end a sentence, you will either say, 'Ta-da' or 'case closed.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #shave beard, #time slows, #to crawl, #envelope licker

View Transcript

Transcript

"I decided to shave off the beard I grew when I was waiting for my boss to get off the phone." "Beard? I hadn't noticed." "This will take awhile, so I'll wait until time slows to a crawl and do it then." "Did I ever tell you about my first job as an envelope licker?" "Click"