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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #information services, #preventer, #computer, #pda, #catbird intervenes, #human rsources, #nework cable, #technology

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Mordac bursts into Dilbert's cubicle. Mordac says, "I am Mordac. the preventor of information services!" Mordac says, "I'll take your computer and your little PDA too!" Dilbert hugs his monitor. Mordac says, "Do you recognize this?" Mordac holds up a wire. Dilbert says, "Aaaagh! That's my network cable!" Dilbert says, "What do you want from me?!" Catbert leans over the cubicle wall. Catbert says, "Mordac, it is I catbert, the evil director of human resources!" Catbert jumps down onto Mordac. Catbert says, "You made my personal printer a shared device!" Dilbert watches a clothing flies. Dilbert is at home and says, to Dogbert, "Two wrongs made a right." Dogbert says, "Welcome to my reality."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #director, #ceiling collapsed, #complained, #steel beam, #hit head, #happen in home, #losing consciousness, #suicide note, #doubting story, #questioning reality

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Caption: "CAtbert: H.R. Director". Catbert is at his desk. A voice says, "The ceiling in my work area collapsed." A man stands with a still beam stuck on his head. Catbert says, "No one else has complained." The man says, "A steel beam hit me in the head!" Catbert says, "How can I be sure it didn't happen in your home?" The man says, "There aren't any steel beams in my house!!" Catbert says, "Maybe you removed them with your head." The man says, "Uh-oh.... losing consciousness." and falls over. Catbert says, to the man's feet, "If you can hear me, don't worry! I'll write your suicide note!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #give away prodcut, #for free, #deinstall it, #bill customers, #consumer despaitations

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "My plan is to give away our product for free." The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We'll only bill customers who ask us to deinstall it." Wally and Dilbert continue looking on impassively as The Boss continues, "For once, those reports of consumer decapitations will work in our favor."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #boss, #sneaking up on, #computer, #walk past, #muscles cramping, #technology

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The Boss peeks in at Dilbert in his cubicle and thinks, "Is that work? I can't see what's on the screen." The Boss raises one leg as if in the middle of walking and thinks, "If he sees me I'll pretend I'm in mid-stride, just passing by." Wally stands behind The Boss and says into his cell phone, "The small font is working." Dilbert says into his telephone, "Good." The Boss grimaces and thinks, "Muscles cramping."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #germs, #safe from germs, #alice, #sneeze, #blows up, #germ safety device

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An under-the-weather Alice sits at her computer. Wally is wearing a protective head covering that looks like a large gas mask. Wally says, "I'm safe from your germs, Alice. You can sneeze all you want." Alice pulls the cap off the hose to Wally's gas mask as she begins to sneeze with a large sound of, "Aah..." Alice completes her sneeze into the hose of Wally's gas mask. Wally's head covering blows up like a huge balloon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #operating system, #reboot, #mouse pad, #monitor, #incompatible mouse pad, #rebooting system

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DOGBERT'S TECH SUPPORT: Dogbert sits at his computer wearing a telephone headset. Dogbert says, "Your mousepad is incompatible with your operating system." The Boss listens on his telephone as Dogbert continues, "Try rebooting the mousepad. If that doesn't work, I'll call you back." Still on the phone The Boss asks, "How will you know?" and listens as Dogbert replies, "I'll watch you through your monitor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2001's comic on:


Tags #company's core values, #trust, #integrity, #team work, #borrow a chair, #selling on ebay

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Asok thinks to himself, "I must keep in mind our company's core values of trust, integrity and teamwork." Wally enters Asok's cubicle and says, "May I borrow your chair?" Asok says, "Okay" Wally is at the computer as Dilbert approaches and asks, "What are you selling on E-Bay?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #therapy session, #everyone is lying, #stock market, #congress, #boss, #therapy, #scientifically proven, #money, #psychology, #Politics

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Dilbert: It feel like everyone in the world is lying to me. Congress is lying about the budget. Stock analysts are lying about their recommendations, My boss is lying, This therapy stuff us scientifically proven to work, right? Therapist Its 100% effective.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2001's comic on:


Tags #good job, #meeting woman, #late, #sixty hour week, #stock options decline, #not impressed

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A woman asks Dilbert, "Do you have a good job?" Dilbert says, "It depends on what you mean by good." Dilbert continues, "If you consider the decline of my stock options, I work sixty hours a week for nothing." The woman says, "Hey, look at the time." Dilbert says, "My boss thinks I work eighty hours. Hee hee!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #day over, #cubicle, #six o'clock horror, #screaming, #nightmare, #can't leave, #more work, #over time, #stay late, #boss, #papers

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Dilbert is whistling while getting ready to go home. Cation reads: "A happy Dilbert prepares to go home after a long day in the cubicle." Dilbert's boss enters the cubicle. Caption reads: "Too late. The six o'clock horror is upon him!" Dilbert, taken by surprise, screams, "GAAA!" Caption reads: "In your workspace no one can hear you scream." Asok and Wally are leaving. Asok turns to Wally and asks, "What was that?" Wally answers, "Just keep walking."