Work Space Comic Strips - Page 100

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #introductions, #alice, #breakdown, #bad company, #bad boss, #freak out at meeting, #business

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Lets start by introducing ourselves. Susan: Im susan black from I.T.G. I work for Emily Wooten. Max: Im Max Blumf. I work for Susan. Alice: Im Alice. I work for....uh...I... AAAGH!! IM filled with shame by association!!! WHY ME? WHY WHY WHY Please take me to your group! Im not tainted!!! The Boss: Can we start over? I forgot who the first three people are....

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brand equity, #increasing skills, #kleenex engineers, #sneeze, #kleenex, #engineers

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Wally comes up behind Dilbert, who is sitting at his desk, and says, "While you toil in utter futility, I'm building my personal 'brand equity.'" Wally continues, "I'm increasing my skills and my contacts every day." Then, as Alice approaches, adds, "My goal is to becomes the 'Kleenex' of engineers!" Alice bumps into Wally, knocking the glasses off his face. She says, "'Scuse me, I have real work to do." Alice brings her hand to her mouth, as she says, "Ooh... sneeze coming." She opens her mouth wide, "Aaaah..." "CHOO!" She sneezes in Dilbert's cubicle and Wally's glasses go flying again. Wally is now gone. Alice and Dilbert remain. Alice tells Dilbert, "I think of Wally as the 'Kleenex' of engineers." Dilbert agrees, "Me too."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #research dept, #study, #value of research, #just lie, #no research, #industry salaries, #two oclock, #quitting time, #role model

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Alice sits next to The Boss and a mandattan place.. The Boss points out, "Our special guest is Tod, from our researced paper." Tod says, "We recently did a study to access the value of our previous research." Tod hands out papers and says, "Sadly, all of our past work was either ignoed or totally misintrepreted by idiots.." Tod says, ".. such as yoursleves." Tod says, "So from now on, rather that do research we''ll just lie. Tod says, "Play along and and we'll make sure the 'industry salaries' study goes your way." Tod says, "Well, it's two o'clock, and that's quitting time in the research department." Wally tells Dilbert, "" You're not my role mdoel anymore!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #director, #co workers, #sadistic, #big nut, #party, #spinach dip

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Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director" Catbert has the sadistic nut in his office. Catbert says, "Your co-workers say you're a sadistic nut." Catbert says, "Gimme five, you big nut! and keep up the good work!" Catbert says, "Hey, I'm having a party on Saturday. Can you make it?" The sadistic nut says, "Sure! I'll bring my spinach dip."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celebrate service reps, #exceptional customer service, #emplyees, #extra pay, #smart employees, #someday

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The boss says, to Dilbert and Wally, "From now on, we will celebrate our service reps who give exceptional customer service." Dilbert says, "Question: Why would we celebrate employees who do extra work without getting extra pay?" The boss says, "It will make them happy." Dilbert says, "Can we celebrate the smart employees some day?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Cartoon, #shows cartoon, #boring presentation, #has no punchline

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Dilbert gives a presentation using an overhead projector. Dilbert says, "I'd like to start with a cartoon." Dilbert points at the projection and says, "It's about a guy who shows a cartoon before giving a boring presentation." Dilbert says, "But it doesn't work because the cartoon has no punchline."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #body language, #earplugs!, #hammer head bob, #personal spece, #relentless conversation

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Hammerhead Bob: You can't escape the relentless conversation of hammerhead bob. Buwhahah! Your body language can't stop me! Where you personal space now?! Alice: earplugs, Asok! Ear plugs!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #million dollars, #call bluff, #going now, #long debate

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Dilbert sits in his robe, he eats breakfast and reads the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I'll give you a million dollars if you go to work like that." Dilbert stands up and says, "I'll call your bluff. I'm doing it. I'm going right now!" Dogbert says, "Go ahead!" Dogbert reads the paper and thinks, "Tonight I expect a long debate over the exact definition of "go to work like that."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #training classes, #skilled, #better job, #secret untraining method, #hammer, #head, #hit on head

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Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Catbert looks into Asok's cubicle. Catbert says, "Asok, you have taken too many training classes." Asok says, "Too many?" Catbert says, "You're too skilled now. There's a risk you'll leave for a better job." Asok stands blind folded. Catbert holds a huge hammer above his head. Asok says, "Does the "secret untraining method' work every time?" Catbert says, "I've never tried it before."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #go away, #someone else cubicle, #finish project, #good teamwork, #reputation, #maintain

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Wally drinks coffee in alice's cubicle. Alice says, "Will you please go hang around in someone else's cubicle? I need to finish my project." The boss looks in and says, "Hey I see Wally is helping on the project. Good teamwork, Wally!" Wally says, "I hope you do good work. I have a reputation to mantain."