New Version Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Version

View 101 - 110 results for new version comic strips. Discover the best "New Version" comics from Dilbert.com.

Weak Sales Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Weak Sales Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #executives, #money, #golden parachute, #greed, #logic, #sales, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.

Electric Car Business

Thank you for voting.
Electric Car Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #electric car, #scam

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're getting into the electric car business. Dilbert: Why? Boss: Because it sounds impressive and it will take years for anyone to figure out we did it wrong. We'll have new jobs by then. Dilbert: Did you just turn my job into a criminal conspiracy?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #scam, #death, #reincarnation, #con, #con artist, #ghost, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.

Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #science, #discovery, #trick, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My particle accelerator has discovered a new fundamental particle that I call "Dogbertium." It's properties are awesomeness and mystery. One of the mysteries is that it only exists when people don't ask too many questions.

Dogbert's Particle Accelerator

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Particle Accelerator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #scheme, #plan, #deception, #trick, #science, #invention

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I built a particle accelerator in the basement. Dilbert: Sounds expensive. Dogbert: Not if you use cardboard. My plan is to say I discovered one new particle per week. When scientists fail to confirm my discoveries, I will say they need better accelerators.

A System For Transferring Mistakes

Thank you for voting.
A System For Transferring Mistakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #blame, #mistake, #boss, #review, #human resources, #revenge, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.

Boss Buys Software Without Help

Thank you for voting.
Boss Buys Software Without Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bad advice, #Advice, #sales, #lying, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I bought new software for our network. Dilbert: Who helped you on the technical side? Boss: The vendor. He said our current software uses the wrong kind of electricity.

Boss Gets A Nickname

Thank you for voting.
Boss Gets A Nickname - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #scientist, #nickname, #obliviousness, #stephen hawking, #black holes, #space, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Our new nickname for you is based on the work of Stephen Hawking. Hawking is one of the greatest scientific minds of our time. Boss: I like it! Dilbert: I need him to make a decision today. Carol: Toss it in the black hole.

Brittle Phone Design

Thank you for voting.
Brittle Phone Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #big business, #fragile, #iphone, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.

Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles

Thank you for voting.
Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Check out the new virtual reality googles. You wear them all day to upgrade the way you experience the world. Narrator: Later. Boss: It's good to see you working so hard, Wally.