Search Results for "double efficiency"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #genius, #work ethic, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

Ideal Customer

Thank you for voting.
Ideal Customer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #market research, #sham, #yes-man, #demographics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.

Negotiating Expert

Thank you for voting.
Negotiating Expert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #negotiation, #training, #irony, #obliviousness, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to negotiate. Normally, he charges triple the market rate, but I talked him down to double. Wally: Where is he? Boss: He said he's teaching us what happens when there's no performance clause in a contract.

New Forms

Thank you for voting.
New Forms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #money, #office, #office workers, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.