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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #rehired, #alice back, #dulled instincts, #first day abck, #business picking up

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The Boss: Business is picking up. We need to rehire some of the people that we downsized. I hope the time off from work hasn't dulled their engineering instincts. The first day back is always the hardest.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2003's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #product awareness class, #hands on training, #next version

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The Boss: I signed you up for a product awareness class. Dilbert: GAAA!!! The Boss: They'll give you hands on training Man: we're hoping to fix this problem in the next version.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #school, #worthless sycophants, #head nodding, #beginners, #instructiosn, #class, #particpants, #education

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Dogbert: "Welcome to Dogbert's school for worthless sycophants." "Our first lesson is 'Head nodding for beginners.'" "Good good, now get ready to snap it forward."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #dance with death, #secreatry, #desk, #work to early grave, #first to drop, #good morning, #first thing, #competition, #resentment, #anger

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Carol: "Well, look who came back to dance with death." "Once again you will try to work me to an early grave and I will book you on dangerous business trips." "Who will be the first to drop? Who?" The boss: "What ever happened to 'good morning'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #real estate agent, #10 million, #first property, #covered with frogs, #banshee farm, #access road, #boiling cesspool

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The real estate agent The first property costs $10 million. Its covered with endangered frogs and its next to a banshee farm. The access road is a narrow path across a boiling cesspool of tormented souls.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #meeting with boss, #stretch first, #limber, #muscles, #strain something, #stretch

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The boss: Im going to a meeting with my boss. Carol: did you stretch first? Carol: you need to limber up your lying muscles or you'll stain something. Really? Things are going that well?/! Didn't stretch.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #online study class, #sexual harrasmnet, #don't have one, #happy actors

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Wally: "I'm about halfway finished with the online studay class on sexual harassment." The Boss: "Wally, we don't have an online study course on sexual harassment." Wally: "THat would explain why all the actors seemed so happy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2005's comic on:


Tags #new director, #first impressions, #office in lobby, #nearest growler, #directions, #information booth, #directs

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The Boss: Carol, I'm making you our new director of first impressions pro team! Carol: My years of hard work have finally paid off! Im a dierctor! Carol: Why is my office in the lobby? Can you direct me ti the nearest growler?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2005's comic on:


Tags #receptionist, #director, #first impressions, #salesman, #ceo of hp, #printer cartrideges

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Carol: "I might appear to be a receptionist, but I'm actually a director of first impressions." CEO: "I might appear to be a salesman of printer cartridges, but I'm really the CEO of HP." Carol: "Carly?" CEO "You look like a 57."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2005's comic on:


Tags #receptionist, #director of first impressions, #send email.anger, #upsat, #realization

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Carol: Im starting to think that the director of first impressions is.... GAAA!!! IM A RECEPTIONIST!! Beat it, you walrus! Maybe I'll just send an email.