Imaginary One Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for imaginary one comic strips. Discover the best "Imaginary One" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2002's comic on:


Tags #vacant private offcie, #last one, #ill-will, #coworkers, #diltopia, #take off shoes, #reverence

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Dilbert is carrying a box. He says to Alice, "I'm moving into a vacant private office. I got the last one." Dilbert continues, "I hope this doesn't cause ill-will in the cubicle-bound co- workers I'm leaving behind." Alice furrows her brow. Dilbert continues, "All I ask is that when you enter Diltopia, you bow in reverence and take off your shoes." Alice clenches her teeth in anger.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ethical, #accounting records, #massive shortsell, #wrong one

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Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "My boss ordered me to make our accounting records more confusing. Is that ethical?" Dogbert responds, "It's as ethical as the massive short-sell I'm going to place in the next ten seconds." Dilbert says, "Maybe you're the wrong one to ask." Dogbert yells into his phone, "NOW! NOW!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #one ear, #email, #instant message, #pager, #messages, #boss comes in, #work stories, #technology

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Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dilbert says, "I had my cell phone at one ear and my regular phone at the other." Dilbert continues, "I'm reading e-mail, sending instant messages, my pager is vibrating, and my boss comes in!" Dogbert says, "You know what makes your work stories fascinating?" Dilbert asks. "What?" Dogbert continues, "Nothing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2002's comic on:


Tags #battle of wills, #leave message, #call me, #ignores calls, #cubicles, #same office, #one cubicle over

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Wally says to The Boss and Dilbert, "I'm in a battle of wills with a guy who lets all of his calls roll over to voicemail." Wally continues, "I do that too, so all day long we trade messages saying, 'Call me,' and then we ignore the incoming calls." The Boss suggests, "Maybe he's out of the office." Wally responds, "No, I can hear him. He's one cube over from me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #coffee with boss, #one hour, #quality time, #rather staple skunk, #snarky remarks, #cutting insulting

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The Boss says to Carol, "I call my idea 'Coffee with the Boss.' Each employee will get one hour of quality time with me." Carol responds, "I'd rather staple a skunk to my forehead and go to a trade show for banjo makers." Carol continues, "And yet, it's still better than working, so count me in." The Boss replies, "That's the spirit!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #temporary boss, #revamp, #project staus, #color codes, #confess, #only one idea, #emabrrassing

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Wally addresses a meeting, "My first act as temporary boss is revamping our project status color codes." Wally points to a slide and says, "Red, yellow, and green will be replaced by white, off-white, and eggshell." Wally continues, "I have to confess, it was embarrassing to realize I only have one idea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #empty cubicles, #frightens customres, #adopt cubicle, #decorate, #appear occupied, #phil de cube, #imaginary employee

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "We have too many empty cubicles. It frightens our customers." The Boss continues, "Each of you will adopt an empty cubicle and decorate it to appear occupied." Wally and Dilbert are walking out. Wally says, "My imaginary employee will be a Frenchman named Phil de Cube." Dilbert responds, "Nice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #one project, #finished one, #measure worth, #number of projects, #track roi, #losing, #competition amongst mothers, #dilberts mom

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Dilbert and his mom are eating dinner. Dilbert's mom asks, "Why have you only finished one project at work this year? Norma's son did three." Dilbert responds, "You can't measure someone's worth by counting the number of projects he does." Dilbert's mom says to her friends, "Maybe we should track R.O.I. instead." One of her friends replies, "Why, because you're losing?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #yemp, #fear of commitment, #one foot out door, #swiped

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The temp is standing with one leg up in the air. He says to Dilbert, "I'm a temp with a fear of commitment. I keep one foot out the door." Dilbert hands the temp a piece of paper and says, "Whatever. Just take care of this for me. It'll take ten minutes." The temp zips away faster than his clothes can move.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #drop by iq, #measure of drop by visitor, #stay in cubicle, #one hour

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch at home. Dogbert says, "I've developed a new theory of intelligence that I call 'Drop-by-I.Q.'" Dogbert continues, "It's a measure of how long a drop-by visitor will stay in your cubicle when you're trying to work." The Boss is standing in Alice's cubicle. He says, ..."And that's why I'm afraid of bananas." Alice looks at her clock and thinks, "One hour and counting."