Alice Side Agreement Comic Strips - Page 11
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The boss reads from a piece of paper at the conferance table. The boss says, "There's been a rash of thefts from cubicles." The boss says, "The subject is described as fat and slow-witted, with pointy hair." The boss says, "The bulletin stops short of actually naming her Alice." Wally and Dilbet both turn to look at Alice.
The boss interviews a disguised Alice. The boss says, "I'm prerpared to offer you $120,000 per year plus a parking space for your gigantic hat." Alice pulls ofer her hat and glasses and says, "Ha ha! It is I, Alice! I accept your offer for a higher-paying job!" Catbert takes of the boss mask and says, "ha ha! It is I, Catbert! I'm not authorized to hire anyone!" Alice says, "#!*ing cat!"
ALice sits in the doctor's office. Alice says, "Are you saying my job makes my sick?" Doctor says, "Don't worry there's a cure." The docotr hands Alice a pamphlet and says, "Here's a brochure on assisted suicide." Alice says, "How do you assists?" The doctor says, "I gave you the brochure."
The boss comes up to Alice and says, "Alice, your name was accidentally omitted from the reorganization paperwork." The boss says, "You're in a place known only as org-limbo." Alice says, "Stop making it sound scary!" The boss replies, "Where did Alice go?"
Alice is standing in the office with her arms apart from her side and thinks, "Forgotten in the reorganization plan, I exist in org-limbo." Dilbert and Wally walk by as she thinks, "The normal people can't see me or hear me." Dogbert is standing on the bosses desk wearing a turban and says to the boss, "Sometimes the unassigned have unfinished business. I can see them."
Alice is sitting down at lunch, she has a sandwich in her hands. A co-worker says to Alice: "Hey Alice, what are you eating? Let me have a sniff." Co-worker thrusts herself like an eagle upon Alice's sandwich to sniff it: "Sniff!". Alice is scared. Alice looks at her sandwich with surprise and says: "My letucce is gone!" Co-worker walks away chewing.
At a meeting, the Boss tells the employees: "I hired a psychologist to help you handle stress." Alice says angrily: "We need another engineer not a freakin' quack!!" The Boss turns to the psychologist and asks him: "Is there a pill for that?" The psychologist replies: "I took it."
VP: Alice, maybe we shouldn't date, Im a Vp and you're an engineer in my division. Alice: Sheesh, Get over yourself. IM just using you to drive my boss nuts, VP: Your indifference arouses me! I will make you mine! Alice: VPs
The Boss says to Wally and Alice, "...And that's the plan." Wally yells, "Yippee!" Alice screams, "Woo-ha!!" The Boss thinks to himself, "I'm very inspiring lately." As Alice and Wally walk away, Alice says to Wally "How did people survive meetings before these things?" Wally replies, "Webvlan split!"
Alice: LULU, you've stalled my project for long enough, I want your input. NOW!! Alice: I found out my jaw unhinges when Im mad> Asok: You frighten my hoagie.