Boss Introductions Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
1000 Results for Boss Introductions
View 101 - 110 results for boss introductions comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Introductions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 14,
1992
Tags Dilbert, the boss, transferred, assignments, management, yanking, chain, over-communicating, manager, sales
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, you're being temporarily transferred to the field sales organization." The Boss continues, "Normally we use these assignments to round somebody out for management. But in this case I'm just yanking your chain!" Dilbert says, "You're over-communicating again, sir." The Boss continues, "Plus, I hate the manager of sales."
Monday December 21,
1992
Tags Dilbert, the boss, report, utilize, facilitate, replace, implementation, phase, readable, fax, type, size
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk reading a report while Dilbert stands waiting. The Boss says, "Good report, but change the word 'use' to 'utilize' in each case." The Boss continues, "Change 'help' to 'facilitate' and replace 'do' with 'implementation phase.'" The Boss continues, "Hmm . . . It's still a bit too readable." Dilbert replies, "I could reduce the type size and run it through the fax."
Monday January 04,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Wally, alice, the boss, head, belt-o-authority, electric, shocks, performance, theory
Transcript
The Boss holds a box and says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Everybody take one and fasten it securely around your head." Dilbert, Wally and Alice wear receivers on their heads. The Boss explains, "From time to time I'll use my 'Belt-O-Authority' to send you painful electric shocks." Dilbert asks, "When our performance is bad?" The Boss replies, "That's one theory, sure."
Tuesday January 05,
1993
Tags the boss, wimpy, management, techniques, empowerment, quality, memo, shock, subjective, electric
Transcript
The Boss thinks, "I've had enough of those wimpy management techniques like 'empowerment' and 'quality.'" The Boss stands behind an employee who is wearing a headband with a receiver on it. The Boss says, "Write a BETTER memo or I'll send a strong shock to your head." The Boss presses a button on his belt and the man receives a shock. The Boss looks at the reader and says, "The best part is that it's all subjective."
Wednesday January 06,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, the boss, Wally, rewriting, wiseguy, shocks
Transcript
Dilbert arrives at home wearing a headband with an antenna on it. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "The Boss is making us wear these things on our heads so he can give us painful shocks whenever he wants." Dilbert says, "I'm rewriting mine so it redirects the signal to Wally." Dogbert says, "I'm sure he'll see the humor in that." The Boss presses a button on his belt and says to Dilbert, "Okay, wiseguy, do you want more of this?!" Dilbert replies, "Maybe one more." In the background, Wally receives several electric shocks.
Tuesday January 19,
1993
Tags Dilbert, the boss, alice, Environment, ordered, ink, removed, copiers, printers, pens, research, squids, elmer's, glue, cows
Transcript
The Boss tells Dilbert and a woman, "To protect our environment, I've ordered that ink be removed from all copiers, printers and pens." The Boss continues, "Research shows that many squids can be spared by reducing our ink usage." Dilbert replies, "I don't think we get our ink from squids, sir." The Boss says, "Oh, right . . . Next you'll say we don't get our 'Elmer's' from cows."
Wednesday January 20,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Wally, the boss, agenda, discussion, paper, recycling, program, drawback
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "First on the agenda is a discussion of the company's new paper recycling program." Dilbert looks at the agenda and says, "We talked about that last time . . . Hey, this is last week's agenda." The Boss replies, "You spotted the one drawback."
Thursday January 21,
1993
Tags the boss, Dilbert, whales, extinct, hear, seeing-eye, fetch, paper, drag, mammals, burning, building
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk working on the computer. The Boss says, "Sometimes I wonder, how would MY life be different if all whales were extinct?" The Boss continues, "It's not like they do anything for us. You never hear of seeing-eye whales. They can't fetch the paper or drag you out of a burning building . . ." The Boss asks, "Don't you think the world has too many fat, worthless mammals?" Dilbert replies, "I was just thinking that, sir."
Monday January 25,
1993
Tags Dilbert, objections, Funny, faces, rambling, monthly, daily, the boss, Wally, meetings
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally, Alice, the Boss and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "If there are no objections, I'd like to make funny faces and tell a long rambling story." Ted continues, ". . . So, then I said 'You want the MONTHLY report, not the DAILY report.' . . . But that got me thinking . . . So . . ." Ted says, "Blah blah blah" and waves his arms. The Boss thinks, "I can top that."
Thursday January 28,
1993
Tags Dilbert, meeting, the boss, change, lowered, expenses, increased, revenues, financial, situation, blinding, flash, obvious
Transcript
Dilbert, the Boss, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Whoa whoa! I just got an idea that could change everything . . ." Ted says, "What if we LOWERED expenses and INCREASED revenues? That could help our financial situation." Ted yells, "Aaagh! I can't see!!!" Dilbert says to the Boss, "Sounds like a blinding flash of the obvious, sir."