Charge Customers Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

281 Results for Charge Customers

View 101 - 110 results for charge customers comic strips. Discover the best "Charge Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags retail business, sales drop, retail stores, self checkout, dumb customers, most shoplifted

View Transcript

Transcript

Finance Troll: Our sales have dropped to zero in retail stores that have self-checkout. Apparently the people who are dumb enough to want our product are too dumb to know how to use the self-checkout. On a positive note, we have the most shoplifted product of the year. Boss: Yes!

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fashion, suit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a retail clothing store, "I'm looking for a fine wool suit, in the $700 range. Something fashionable yet timeless." The clerk hands him a suit and says, "Try this $35 nylon beauty, suitable for swimming or dining out. The bell bottoms are no extra charge." Dilbert says, "Wow!" Dilbert walks away carrying the $35 suit. He says, "I guess I was just born to be a fashion pioneer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags national news, critics, management, megaslime corporation, repitilian, aliens

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching a television news report. The newscaster says, "And in national news . . ." The newscaster continues, "Critics today accused the management of Megaslime Corporation of being hideous reptilian aliens bent on enslaving the earth." The newscaster continues, "A spokesman for the company denied the charge." Dilbert says, "Whew!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, donut, wild kingdom, engineer, anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in the kitchen and Dogbert stands in the doorway holding a slingshot. Dilbert reaches for a box of donuts and thinks, "Maybe just one donut before bed." Dogbert thinks, "He takes the bait." Dilbert looks surprised as the donut is shot out of his hand. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Didn't I ask you to stop playing 'Wild Kingdom' in the house?" Dogbert thinks, "Now angered, the engineer turns to charge."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, calculations, collection, business, curb, pick-up, pizza, delivery

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the desk with a calculator and paper in front of him. Dogbert tells Dilbert, "By my calculations, we can make millions by combining a mortuary business and a garbage collection business." Dogbert continues, "Our customers could simply leave the dearly departed by the curb for pick-up." Dilbert says, "Maybe we could add pizza delivery, too." Dogbert says, "Let's not push a good idea too far."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, economy, mud, planning, pigs, communism, elbonia, Political, capitalism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The basic problem with your economy is that the only product you make is mud . . ." An Elbonian asks, "So?" Dilbert says, "Nobody needs mud. Who the heck is in charge of planning this economy, anyway?" The pig smiles.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, micheal, cover, charge, two, bits, computer, program, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Uh-oh! I'm being sucked into my own computer program! I've always feared this... Michael: Hi, I'm Michael-- Michael Chip.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, computer, Dogbert, crash, six, bucks, diving, sky diving, lessons, cheap

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if Dogbert is enjoying his sky diving lessons." Dogbert crashes through the ceiling and lands on the desk. Dogbert lies face-down on the desk and says, "Boy . . . No wonder they only charge six bucks."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bob, dawn, dogberts, security, neutralize, motives, accident, dinosaurs, cult

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Bob and Dawn join Dogbert's cult." Dogbert says to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "You two are in charge of security." Dogbert continues, "Your job is to neutralize anybody who questions my motives." Dawn says, "Actually, we have some questions of our own . . ." Dawn asks, "Or should we just neutralize ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "Make it look like an accident."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dinosaurs, babysitter, frankly, bob, eating, children parents

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says to his wife, ". . . We should at least interview him. Nobody else even answered our ad for a babysitter." The woman says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Frankly, Bob, we're concerned that you might try to eat the children." Bob replies, "Well, of course, in that case there would be no charge for the evening." The husband says, "He's more than fair."