Condescending Engineer Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for condescending engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Condescending Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2005's comic on:


Tags #holding up wall, #new structural engineer, #wall fell

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The boss: what are you doing holding up the wall? Zing that was a good one. Dilbert: Have you met the new structural engineer?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #failed ceo, #worth 100 million, #all reverse, #head in glass, #successful engineer, #kind of funny

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RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."

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Share April 18, 2006's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #infeasibility, #second opinion, #engineering

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"Dilbert says my plan won't work. I need a second opinion." "Hypothetically, if I say your plan is terrific, would I end up being the engineer who has to implement it?" "Maybe." "Your plan reeks of infeasibility."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #senior engineer, #lead engineer, #pay is same, #disrespect you, #magic

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The Boss: I'm promoting you from senior engineer to lead engineer. "The pay is the same but people will disrespect you less." Dilbert: "Including you?" The Boss: "It's not magic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #all motivation, #temporary, #lead engineer, #buzz kil, #right back at you

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Dilbert: "I got promoted to lead engineer." Wally: "Me too." Dilbert: "Wow. Buzz kill." Wally: "Right back at you." The Boss: "If you think about it, all motivation is temporary."

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Share January 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #avoid facts, #cubicle, #paid commissions, #sales engineer, #truth, #sales rep

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The Boss: I'm making you a sales engineer. You'll be paid on commission." "When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth." "Try to avoid facts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2007's comic on:


Tags #heals itself, #sales engineer, #sales rep, #totally true, #truth vs.lies, #questions

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Sales Engineer "Your sales rep told us that the product heals itself. Is that true?" Dilbert: It's totally true...that he said that. sales engineer: Let me ask this another way... Dilbert: NOOO!!! One way per question!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2007's comic on:


Tags #cold learning, #cruelest, #don't wear a coat, #first lesson, #good liar, #sales support engineer, #seeking advice, #how to lie

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Dilbert: I'm a sales support engineer now. Can you teach me to be a good liar? Dogbert: Sure. Meet me on the porch, and don't wear a coat; the cold will help the learning. The first lesson is always the cruelest."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #sales engineer, #making sale, #install, #few extra features, #massage table, #sprawl, #get naked

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Sales Engineer Sales engineer: I did the hard part of making the sale. All you have to do is install it. I might have promised them a few extra features. Did you bring your own massage table or should I just get naked and sprawl on a desk?

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Share January 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #magic vendors fault, #network, #shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #engineering

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Client: Your network product appears to be a shoe box full of twigs and leaves. Sales engineer: Hoho! Just wist util my engineer does his magic and integrates it with your network! Make it look like another vendor's fault.