Dead Animal Comic Strips - Page 11

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236 Results for Dead Animal

View 101 - 110 results for dead animal comic strips. Discover the best "Dead Animal" comics from Dilbert.com.

Fine Lines

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Fine Lines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #line, #optimism, #idiocy, #cynicism, #realism, #will, #love, #dead, #working

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Dilbert: I've noticed there's a fine line between optimism and idiocy. Wally: There's also a fine line between cynicism and realism. Dilbert: I just lost my will to live. Wally: There's a fine line between dead and working.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #therapy session, #cloud, #having meeting, #tech talk, #couch, #shrink, #avatar, #engineer, #engineering

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Dilbert: I was holding a virtual meeting using the cloud and... Therapist: you're already dead and you don't know it. Dilbert: um...no im an engineer. Therapist: and yet your should had a meeting in a cloud. Interesting. Dilbert: my people call it an avatar.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #stress, #meltdown cubicle, #theoretical workload limit, #brains full, #becomes overdue, #projects overdue, #tasks, #urgent, #funny noise, #missed dead line

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Voice: Meltdown in cubicle 459540! Dilbert: That's Te. He must have reached his T.W.L. Asok: His what? Dilbert: Theoretical workload limit. In layman's terms, his brain is full. It starts when just one of your projects becomes overdue. You end up spending all of your time explaining why you didn't get it done. That makes all of your other projects overdue. When ever task become urgent, your brain can't decide what to do next. Brains make a funny noise when they shut down. Noise: Poink. Asok: Uh-oh. I just missed a deadline. Wally: And so it begins.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #public speaking, #let slide, #power point, #presentation, #bored, #sleeping audience, #low expectations

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Dilbert: And that's my last slide, any comments? Woman: You stole an hour of my life, something inside me died. I will never have another good day. Dilbert: I went in with low expectations. Wally: They can't hurt you if you're already dead.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #tupac video, #holgram, #data cloud, #economical

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Catbert: Ted, have you seen the Tupac video where he performs as a hologram? We've decided to do the same thing with all of our employees. We're going to move your data to the cloud. Ted: Tupac is dead. Catbert: I think you mean economical.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1989's comic on:


Tags #money, #pet, #question, #animals

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Dilbert sits at the table reading the newspaper. Dogbert asks, "Which would you prefer: winning a million bucks or getting hit in the lips with a dead mole while you sleep?" Dilbert replies, "Uh . . . The money." Dogbert says, "Well, that's too bad, because you didn't win a million bucks." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "That's the kind of hypothetical question that can keep you up all night."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaurs, #theory, #giant meteor, #earth, #larry

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Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor in front of Dilbert's chair. Dilbert says, ". . . So the theory that dinosaurs were destroyed when a giant meteor collided with earth . . ." Bob says, ". . . Was highly exaggerated." A dinosaur points at another dinosaur who lies underneath a meteor and says, "Ha ha, Larry! Ha ha!" Another animal says, "Nice catch." From underneath the meteor, Larry says, "Ouch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #medical expenses, #plattypuss

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Bob the Dinosaur remembers the image of a dinosaur crushed under a meteor. Bob says, ". . . But Larry the Dinosaur survived his brush with the meteor." Bob continues, "His medical expenses soared. Today we recognize Larry as the first of a new evolutionary chain of dinosaurs . . ." Bob pictures a flat animal with legs. Bob concludes, "The 'Doctor-Billed Flattypuss.'" Dilbert says, "I'm not buying this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #national geographic, #mammal, #snoring

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table listening to a tape player. Dilbert says, "I do NOT snore, and I do NOT believe you made this recording of me last night." Animal-like sounds come from the tape player. Dilbert looks at a cassette box and says, "In fact, this tape box says 'National Geographic's Songs of the Whale.'" Dogbert says, "So, you admit that even National Geographic can't tell the difference between your snoring and a twenty-ton kelp-scarfing mammal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #flat earth, #society, #witness, #christopher columbus, #death, #conspiracy

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Dogbert sits at a desk looking at a flattened globe. Dilbert asks, "You joined the 'Flat Earth Society?'" Dogbert replies, "I believe the earth MUST be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called 'round earth theory.'" Dilbert says, "I think Christopher Columbus would disagree." Dogbert says, "How convenient that your best witness is long dead."