Light Show Comic Strips - Page 11
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374 Results for Light Show
View 101 - 110 results for light show comic strips. Discover the best "Light Show" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 04,
2016
Dogbert's Reality Show
Tags television, reality, cell phone, battery, charging, Entertainment, technology
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm creating a reality TV show about ten people locked in a room with one electrical outlet. The central tension will revolve around their daily struggle to charge their phones. Dilbert: Is violence allowed? Dogbert: No, but my producers get a big bonus if it happens anyway.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday April 21,
2018
Show More Initiative
Tags managers, boss, criticism, encouragement, initiative, engagement
Transcript
Boss: You fool! That web page is not designed the way I would have done it! And I never would have explained it this way! Lastly, I want you to show more initiative. Dilbert: Are you still here?
Thursday April 16,
2020
Show Interest In Employees
Tags appointment, business, doctor, employees, hate, interest, leave, life, managers & supervisors, prank, question
Transcript
alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.
Thursday March 31,
2011
Tags created cold fusion, jar with light bulb, more news, camera guy
Transcript
Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"
Friday May 13,
2011
Tags administrative agencies, project timeline, waste one week, set up meeting, available in a week
Transcript
Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.
Sunday March 20,
2011
Tags laziness, meetings, buddha jogging, reliability stats, data does not exist, random numbers, deep understanding of reality
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, get me the reliability stats for our previous model." Asok says, "I am fairly certain the data does not exist." The Boss says, "Wally can show you how to get it." Wally says, "Come with me." Wally says, "You start by typing random numbers into a spreadsheet." Asok says,"Then what?" Wally says, "Then you're done." Wally says, "All business data is intentionally misleading. I just take it to the next level." Wally says, "A deep understanding of reality is exactly the same thing as laziness." Asok says, "That can't be right." Wally says, "Have you ever seen a statue of Buddha jogging?"
Saturday October 08,
2011
Tags doctors, employees, medicines, nice guys, paid less, aggressive jerks, offer raise, testosterone injections, illegal, dangerous, unethical, tiny income, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies show that nice guys get paid less than aggressive jerks. Dogbert: Maybe you should offer your doctor 10% of your next raise if he gives you testosterone injections. Dilbert: That would be illegal, dangerous, and unethical. Dogbert: Said the man with the tiny income.
Sunday October 23,
2011
Tags computers & peripherals, internet & world wide web, down load apps, new phone, primary job, formulas in excel
Transcript
Boss: Can you show me how to download apps on my new phone? Dilbert: I could... but that would take time away from my primary job of showing you how to do formulas in Excel. Apparently the eight times I already taught you weren't enough. Boss: I don't use Excel often enough to remember from one time to the next. Dilbert: How often do you expect to download apps? Boss: It's hard to say. I just know I want all of them. How many are there? Dilbert: Four.
Monday November 21,
2011
Tags computers & peripherals, machinery, office equipment, software maintence, indispensible, zeberpupin system
Transcript
Wally: I successfully installed a software maintenance patch to the Zeberpupin System. I'd show you, but it's just a bunch of zeroes and ones. The word you're trying to think of is "indispensable."
Saturday December 03,
2011
Tags tv news, financial report, tv show, cable news show, Dogbert, gold fillings, remove your own
Transcript
News anchor: My next guest on money - n- stuff is Dogbert the doomsday pundit, DOgbert: Goldman Sachs is forming a Hobo army to take over the world. Start hoarding anything with a pointy end. DOW 975 DOgbert: Hobo army coming. News Anchor: after the break, learn how to remove your own gold fillings,


