Low Sales Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

353 Results for Low Sales

View 101 - 110 results for low sales comic strips. Discover the best "Low Sales" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #grabbed by hand, #my sales meeting, #dressed like god, #huge hand, #guy, #thought it would be funny, #hee hee

View Transcript

Transcript

The plane is shown being grabbed by a giant hand. A flight crew member announces, "Folks, please stay in your seats. We've been grabbed by a huge hand." The woman next to Dilbert looks terrified. Dilbert says, "I hope this has nothing to do with how I dressed for my sales meeting at the Vatican." Ratbert is watching television at home. A voice from the television says, "But it turned out to be a guy with a huge hand who said he 'thought it would be funny.'" Ratbert laughs, "Hee hee! Huge hand."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget request, #priority, #highest priority, #mockery, #low priority

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: What is the priority of your budget request? Alice: Highest of the high. Asok: everyone rated their own budget needs "Highest Priority" It is a mockery f the priority system! Asok: Name one thing that everyone would agree is a low priority. Alice: whatever you're doing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profits down, #sales department, #warhouse, #book

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Profits are down, so we fired the sales department to reduce costs." "This strategy heavily depends on people driving to our warehouse and begging for our products." "Do you think I should write a book?" Dilbert: "I'd try reading one first."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new wireless hassock prodcut, #sales people, #work in teams, #wear e;ectroshock, #close the deal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales drop, #invent something, #everyone wants, #visionary leadership, #demands of boss, #unreasonable demands on staff, #money making, #shortfalls

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Sales are dropping like a rock. Our plan is to invent some sort of doohickey that everyone wants to buy. The visionary leadership work is done, How long will your part take.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low pay, #unpleasant work enviornment, #applicants, #miss old days, #dental plan

View Transcript

Transcript

The boos: I can't find any highly trained job applicants who want an unpleasant work environment and low pay. Catbert: I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel. The boss: Did they have a dental plan? Catbert: yes. they called it duck!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low pay, #lowest paid, #blame, #no one left, #aliens, #illegal

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "I just saw a list of everyone's salary." "I thought the glass ceiling was holding me down, but you have the highest pay here." "There's no one left to blame for my low pay except... Ooh, wait... How about illegal aliens?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bench mark results, #ten minute explination, #in sales, #here you go

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, do you have the bench-mark results?" "Do you want the ten-minute explanation of why the data are useless, or a simple "Here you go"?" "I'm in sales." "Here you go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best, #hire back, #not old job, #sales, #train you to lie, #worst, #desparate, #take anything, #need money, #job, #take advantage of, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Dilbert, "We can hire you back but not at your old job." Dilbert responds, "That's okay. I'll do anything but sales. I would be the worst salesperson on Earth." Catbert says, "It's sales." Dilbert replies, "Did I just say worst when I meant best?" Catbert responds, "We'll have to train you to lie better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new strategy, #sales stink, #cutting costs, #lose hope, #working great, #higher margins

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our new strategy is to sell fewer units at higher margins." Dilbert: "Question: How's that different from saying our sales stink, so we're cutting costs?" The Boss: "I call it a strategy so you won't lose hope." Dilbert: "It's working great."