Nasty Corporate Men Comic Strips - Page 11
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Tags #assumption, #business ethics, #buy prodcuts, #corporate strategy, #corporation, #customer centric, #etiquette & ethics, #evil, #executives, #ideas, #marketing campaign, #monopoly, #needs, #needs of customers, #psychological manipulation
CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.
Dilbert: I'm starting to realize that my market value as a single guy is higher than I thought. Men such as you have set the bar so low that all I need to do is have a job and be taller than most women in heels. I thought they were turned on by my tube clothing, but they actually like me for me. Wally: You're welcome.
Alice: How can you justify paying me less than tall people and men!!! CEO: Duh. The reason is that you are not as tall and you don't have male body parts. Alice: Can I borrow your scissors?
Alice: There's a double-standard. Men can shout and curse and no one blinks. But if I say one stern word to someone, they call me "emotional." Dilbert: I've seen you make men cry during meetings. Alice: Only the wusses.
Woman: I like a man who always offers to do the driving on dates? Dilbert: Like Uber? Woman: But less expensive, and no waiting. Dilbert; So you're saying I'm better than Uber? Woman: You would be if you didn't talk.
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar. Today you will learn how to sacrifice your productivity and your happiness for the sake of ancient traditions grounded in total nonsense.Voice: Why would we want to do that? Dogbert: Please hold your impolite questions until never.
Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.
Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.
Dilbert: Technically, I'm male. But my boss makes me identify as a woman so it looks as if he pays men and women the same. Dogbert: You let your boss choose your gender? Dilbert: Don't make it sound weird.