Project Management Comic Strips - Page 11

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969 Results for Project Management

View 101 - 110 results for project management comic strips. Discover the best "Project Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Cartoon, #cartoon on back, #hurts morale, #joke, #management decions, #take it down, #improvement

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The Boss: This cartoon seems to be saying that management decisions are a joke. Cartoons are not allowed on cubicles. It hurst morale, I don't want to see this when I return. The Boss: Ive noticed a real improvement in morale since you removed the cartoon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #client server, #project, #reasoning, #six minutes, #time line, #world wide operations, #understand

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The Boss: I put together a time line for your project. I started by reasoning that anything I don't understand is easy to do. Phase one: design a client-server architecture for our world wide operations time: six minutes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buy put options, #engineers order, #management approval, #stock, #dogcart the consultant

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The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I recommend letting the engineers order their own supplies without management approval." Wally yells, "Yes!!! I'm rich!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dogbert continues, "And I recommend buying 'Put' options in your stock." Wally stands and says, "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project, #assigned, #maintain status quo, #everybody likes project, #not enough funding

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The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm assigning you to 'The Project That Wouldn't Die.'" The Boss continues, "Everybody likes this project too much to cancel it, but not enough to fund it properly." Dilbert puts his hands over his eyes and says, "Aaarg!!" The Boss continues, "Now go out there and maintain the status quo!" Dilbert says, "You really shouldn't mix honesty with your motivational speeches."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project report, #thick binder, #foot rest, #annual performance, #appraisel

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Did you see my project report yet? It's in a big thick binder." The Boss replies, "I'm using it as a footrest." Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "You never want to hear the words 'footrest' the day before your annual performance appraisal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #iso 9000 project, #hand picked, #manger, #project

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Dilbert sits at a desk and says, "Thank you for coming to the 'ISO 9000' project kick-off meeting." Dilbert continues, "Each of you was hand-picked by your manager for this project because . . ." Dilbert faces a table of strange people and says, "Well . . . never mind why."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality award, #dishonest parts, #project lost budget, #assume project failed

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert works on a laptop and says to Dogbert, "I have to submit my project for a 'quality' award. I'll need your help on the dishonest parts." Dilbert continues, "The real story is that the project lost its budget because its acronym was similar to a project that was canceled." Dogbert says, "Assume your project would have failed and claim the savings from avoiding it." Dilbert says, "You're spooky."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #more work, #same tiny raises, #clever shift, #management philosophy, #simple application, #annoy, #effect pay

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss who is seated at his desk. Dilbert says, "I accomplished twice as much as Wally this year, but we got exactly the same tiny raises." Dilbert says, "I'm wondering if this is a clever shift in management philosophy or a simple application of your ignorance?" The boss says, "You're starting to annoy me." Dilbert replies, "And that would affect my pay how?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ass six meetings, #customer focus, #micro management, #egomaniacal mahifest, #survival, #paper towels, #mens room

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. Reading a report, the Boss says, "Change these dates . . . and add six more meetings and use the phrase 'customer focus.'" Dilbert looks down at the desk where a tiny figure has appeared. Dilbert says, "Uh-Oh . . . your micro-management has caused my ego to manifest itself and beg for survival." The tiny figure says, "I'm shrinking!" The Boss splats the tiny figure with a fly swatter and says to Dilbert, "Run and get me some paper towels . . . five of them . . . from the men's room."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contribution to revenue, #project would fail, #attributed, #same project, #equally valuable

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and another worker sit at a conference table. The Boss holds a document and says, "You should all follow Wally's example of how he quantifies his contribution to revenue." Wally explains, "Basically, I assumed my project would fail without me. Therefore all the revenue it generates can be attributed to me." The other worker asks, "Aren't we all on the same project?" Wally answers, "Yes, but evidently we're not all equally valuable."