Review 80 Million Lines Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

325 Results for Review 80 Million Lines

View 101 - 110 results for review 80 million lines comic strips. Discover the best "Review 80 Million Lines" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no budeget, #give raisem, #business trip las vegas, #four million, #bathrub, #flooded five floors, #bartenders

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." Alice: "Why not?" The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #100 million, #dental plan, #not effective, #major corporation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "How would you like to be the CEO of a major corporation?" "You'd be paid $100 million per year just for showing up." "I'd have to see the dental plan." "He's not very effective during the day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board meeting, #dipping employees, #varnish, #voted to fire you, #100 million, #1 million year

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failed ceo, #worth 100 million, #all reverse, #head in glass, #successful engineer, #kind of funny

View Transcript

Transcript

RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #harpoon, #ass, #secretary, #donut eating, #remove, #annual review

View Transcript

Transcript

"It's a harpoon. I see a lot of this." "It's caused by a combination of doughnut-eating and agitating a secretary." "Can you remove it?" "Yes, but it will just come back at Annual Review time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #working 80 hours, #per wekk, #ground breaking, #starategies, #my underlings

View Transcript

Transcript

I'm working 80 hours per week and you hire someone to do your work??? "Leave him alone so he can think up groundbreaking strategies." "Such as?" "I changed your job title to 'My Underling's Underling.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board meeting, #outsourcing, #ceo job, #26 million, #elbonian ceo, #good guy, #consulting contract

View Transcript

Transcript

Board Meeting "I recommend outsourcing your CEO's job and saving the company $26 million per year." "For $4 per year you can hire an Elbonian CEO who is just as good as this guy." "Now do you understand why you should have renewed my consulting contract?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #10 million dollars, #company, #four people, #weather website, #web monitoring, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #web service satndards, #consortium, #approval review, #executive board, #review borad

View Transcript

Transcript

"We should join the industry consortium that's promoting web services standards." "Run that past the consortium approval review board and get a sign-off from the executive board of review board reviewers." "Do those exist?" "In a perfect world, yes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Executive Compensation Review Board "How much should we pay our CEO if he just shows up for work?" "FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS!!!" honk honk "The clown makes a good argument." "Aye!"