Rivals In Management Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for rivals in management comic strips. Discover the best "Rivals In Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #double fees, #management consulting, #outsourcing job, #india, #double fee

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I found a way to double my management consulting fees. "I recommend outsourcing your job to India." "I'll double your fee if you never say that again." WAG!

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human rescources, #disgruntled, #bad management, #commute, #rationalizer, #employee, #commute is easy

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Ed, you seem disgruntled." "You need 30 minutes in the Employee Rationalizer." "I...I...don't mind bad management because...the commute is easy." "Better."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management problems, #solve by yelling, #buying software

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Dogbert: There are two kinds of management problems. "There's the kind you can solve by yelling and the kind you can solve by buying some sort of software." "That's why I created 'Some sort of software that yells'." The boss: "Ooo!!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #director of change, #employees, #management, #managers & supervisors, #strategies, #business

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Boss: We're hiring a director of change management to help employees embrace strategic changes. Dilbert: Or we could come up with strategies that make sense. Then employees would embrace change. Boss: That sounds harder.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #controlling gaze, #lazy, #management experts, #managers & supervisors, #one on one meetings, #regular does, #theiveing, #underlings, #work ethic, #toxic saboteur, #business

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Boss: Management experts say bosses should have frequent one-on-one meeting with underlings. Apparently, you need regular doses of my controlling gaze to prevent you from evolving into a lazy, thieving, toxic saboteur. Carol: It's working great. So far I feel less lazy about doing the other things you mentioned.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management experts, #fat leaders, #favorably, #athletic ones, #donuts, #forget, #seriously

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Carol: management experts say fat readers are viewed less favorably than athletic ones, Thats why I didn't order any donuts for your meeting. The Boss: Or did you just forget to do it? Carol: I can't take you seriously looking like that.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intern, #ideas, #reject, #listen, #putrid ideas, #warnings, #time management, #pretend to care

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Asok: I'll tell you my idea if you promise not to reject it before thinking about it. Dilbert: I already rejected it because only putrid ideas come with warnings. Dilbert: My time management is getting better. Dogbert:I can't pretend to care."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management potentail, #turtle, #attacked by hawk

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Catbert says, "I will use role play to evaluate your management potential. Catbert says, "Imagine you are a turtle and you are being attacked by a hawk." Catbert says, "That's better than I expected." A man says, "Thanks."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time management, #evolution, #good management, #tasks, #genes, #dead end

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Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on time management and evolution." Dogbert says, "The key to good time management is skipping un-important tasks." Dogbert says, "In module two, I will show you that everything you do is unimportant because your genes are a dead end."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dead squirrel, #insulting, #knitting sweater, #makeup, #meeting, #no potential benefit, #time management, #time management expert, #woman as example, #hideous outfit, #business

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Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."