Sat Down Wrong Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for sat down wrong comic strips. Discover the best "Sat Down Wrong" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selfish, #dimwitted, #six sigma consulatant, #bog down meetings, #process, #can't hurt anything

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Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert is standing in front of a room. He says, "All of you are selfish and dimwitted but don't worry." Dogbert continues, "I'll teach you a process that will bog you down in meetings so you can't hurt anything." Asok panics and exclaims, "I can't move my arms!" The rest of the class is asleep.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #man hating supervisor, #justify pay, #all day meeting, #wrong one, #meeting, #this meeting, #door open, #business

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Headline: Man-hating Supervisor. The supervisor asks Wally, "Have any of you men done anything to justify your pay?" Wally responds, "I attended an all-day meeting but later found out I was in the wrong one." The supervisor says, "Actually, you're not supposed to be in this meeting either." Wally replies, "The door was open."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demonstrate, #life to have meaning, #wrong place, #can't do that, #meeting, #presentation, #business

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "I'd like to demonstrate some things we can't do." The coworker responds, "I don't care about things you can't do." Dilbert says, "I know, but it makes a better demonstration this way." The coworker exclaims, "I want my life to have meaning!" Dilbert points out and says, "You came to the wrong place." Dilbert adds, "Can't do that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #numbers down, #reorganize dept, #history for compariosn, #fire people, #save money

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A female employee asks The Boss, "Our numbers are way down. What should we do?" The Boss replies, "Reorganize the department so there's no valid history for comparison." The Boss continues, "Then we'll fire a few people and give ourselves awards for saving money." The employee scrunches up her paper and mutters, "El Diablo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ethical, #accounting records, #massive shortsell, #wrong one

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Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "My boss ordered me to make our accounting records more confusing. Is that ethical?" Dogbert responds, "It's as ethical as the massive short-sell I'm going to place in the next ten seconds." Dilbert says, "Maybe you're the wrong one to ask." Dogbert yells into his phone, "NOW! NOW!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #refreshed, #vacation for boss, #calm and relaxed, #burn clothes, #wally sat in chair, #cooty squad

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The Boss walks back into his office and thinks, "I'm refreshed from my vacation." The Boss sits in his chair and thinks, "I am calm and relaxed." Carol says, "Wally sat in your chair." The Boss' chair is being lifted out by members of the Cooty Squad. One of the Cooty Squad workers says to The Boss, "We'll have to burn your clothes too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #burned down, #customer headquaters, #employee screws up, #performance reviews, #demo unit

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Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. He says to The Boss, "Don't give performance reviews on time." Catbert continues, "Wait until an employee screws up something big, then pounce!" A frazzled employee with torn clothes and smoking hair says to The Boss, "...I forgot to unplug the demo unit and it burned down our customer's headquarters." The Boss asks, "Do you have a minute?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teds job, #two jobs forever, #verbal praise, #down the road, #future, #manipulation, #until hire

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I need you to do Ted's job and your own job until we hire someone." Dilbert responds, "If I do well, you'll make me do two jobs forever. If I do poorly, I'll get no raise." The Boss replies, "I can't promise anything, but there might be some verbal praise down the road."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #down to 40 cups, #won't survive, #lucky, #coffe rehab

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Catbert says to Wally, "Wally, I'm sending you to a coffee rehab program." Wally exclaims, "Gaaa!!!" Catbert says, "They'll get you down to forty cups a day." Wally exclaims, "Not double digits!!!" Wally is escorted out. He yells, "You monster!!! I won't survive!!!" Catbert says, "If you're lucky."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #record loss, #press release, #ceo stepped down, #100 million, #tenure, #shareholders, #bought stock

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Dilbert is working on his computer. Wally is standing behind him. Dilbert says, "Here's the press release about our record loss." Dilbert reads, "The CEO stepped down after earning more than $100 million more than the company itself during his tenure." Dilbert continues reading, "In a message to shareholders, he said, 'Ha ha! Maybe you should have bought stock in me!! Who's your daddy?!!"