Smashed Pay Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

328 Results for Smashed Pay

View 101 - 110 results for smashed pay comic strips. Discover the best "Smashed Pay" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Is Slave Owner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Is Slave Owner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slave, #slaves, #slavery, #buying, #pay, #wages, #housework, #house servant, #maid, #maids, #help, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: No, nothing like that. All I did was buy some Elbonians on the Internet. Wally: Do they clean your house without pay? CEO: I assume they're a tidy people.

View more books now

How The Elbonians Spun It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How The Elbonians Spun It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slavery, #slave, #slaves, #semantics, #owner, #ownership, #obliviousness, #wages, #money, #pay, #payment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.

Days Off Versus More Pay

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Days Off Versus More Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catch-22, #wages, #trick question, #vacation, #compensation, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Would you rather have more days off or more pay? Alice: Days off. Dilbert: Days off. Wally: Days off. Boss: You were right-- we're paying them too much.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #deadline, #free time, #death march, #payment, #salary, #pay check, #bonus, #non caring, #cold, #heartless monster, #no sense shame, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.

Paying The Replacement More

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Paying The Replacement More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #pay raise

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: if i were to quit, you would have to pay my replacement more than you are paying me. dilbert: wouldn't it be more fair to give me a raise to stay? the boss: how would that be fair to your replacement?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #office, #office workers, #pay raise, #employee of the year

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.

Service Human And Pay

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Service Human And Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #abuse, #business, #office, #office workers, #service, #payment

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm hearing that you are abusing your service human. the boss: i don't think you pay him enough for that. service human: wait. i'm suppose to get paid for this??? dogbert: great. now you've ruined him!

Beg And Pay Store

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Beg And Pay Store - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #buying, #selling, #begging, #internet

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm opening a beg-and-pay store. dilbert: what will you be selling? dogbert: selling? dogbert: you are way behind the times. dogbert: stores don't sell things anymore. dogbert: selling would require good customer service and lots of stock on hand. dogbert: if you want that sort of thing, use the internet. dogbert: i just want a place where people can go and beg me to sell them stuff that isn't in stock. office worker: can you help me find this hat in my size? dogbert: beg!!!

How To Reduce Turnover

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How To Reduce Turnover - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #success, #turnover, #pay

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm looking for ideas on how to reduce turnover. dilbert: maybe you could increase our pay and stop thwarting our chances for success at every turn. the boss: i'll ask someone else.

Wally Stopped Trying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Stopped Trying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #useless, #trying, #incompetence, #co-workers, #pay, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: this week i didn't do any work because there is no point in trying. in the unlikely event i did something useful, it would be ruined by the massive incompetence of my co-workers. boss: i pay you to act as if you are trying. wally: oh, in that case, i worked hard this week.