Value Chain Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
160 Results for Value Chain
View 101 - 110 results for value chain comic strips. Discover the best "Value Chain" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 16,
1999
Tags #cat bert, #hr dorector, #nput of employees, #morons, #sing loudly, #thinking, #pinball wizard
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Asok, "I value the input of all employees..." Catbert says, "....including the morons. Although in those cases, I cover my ears and sing loudly>" Asok says, "So I was thinking maybe..." Catbert begins to sing, "He's a pinball wizard"
Thursday November 18,
1999
Tags #company, #pdas for employees, #business trips, #palm pilot california, #cheap, #business
Transcript
Alice, Dilbert, Wally and the boss are in a meeting. The boss says, "The company will not buy PDA's for employees." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Will you still pay for business trips of no discernible value?" The boss replies, "Of course." The boss is thinking, "A lot of people are traveling to Palm Pilot California lately."
Monday February 24,
2003
Tags #assistant, #company politics, #pretend, #actual work
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, "I have an assignment for you that has no value whatsoever to the company." The Boss continues, "For reasons of company politics, I need to pretend I'm doing something in that area." Wally approaches Dilbert and says, "So, you're doing actual work. What's that all about?"
Tuesday April 08,
2003
Tags #Dogbert, #head hunter, #ceo section, #resume, #re word, #less criminal sounding, #more honest, #plundered
Transcript
Headline: Dogbert the Headhunter. Dogbert is meeting with a client. He says, "We'll need to reword the CEO section of your resume." Dogbert continues, "For example, there's never a right time to use the word 'plundered.'" Dogbert continues, "And instead of 'suckers ignored our P/E ratio,' say you 'enhanced stockholder value.'" The client replies, "Wow. You're good."
Friday November 21,
2003
Tags #status reprrts, #costs of projects, #business plan, #budget, #throw on pile
Transcript
Asok: "Lately I am overcome with doubt that you read my status reports." The Boss: "Asok, the biggest value of a status report is that it makes you consider all the costs of your project." Assok: "Actually, that is the biggest value of a business plan or a budget." The Boss: "Whatever. Throw it on the pile."
Saturday February 14,
2004
Tags #selling confidential data base, #customer information, #profitable, #virtually untectable, #highly unethical, #modern times, #facebook, #commercial, #branding
Transcript
The Boss: Did you ever think about selling our confidential data-base of customer information? It would be massively profitable while virtually undetectable, Catbert: But highly unethical. The boss: I don't know you any more. Catbert: Im yanking your chain . when do we start?
Thursday March 18,
2004
Tags #trolls, #hell, #payroll system, #automated sadistic, #phone system, #tech support, #complicated
Transcript
Asok: Are you the troll that handles our payroll system? I have a problem. Troll: problems are handled by our automated sadistic phone system. ASOK: For tech support, press the exact value of 22 divided by 7
Monday June 21,
2004
Tags #admire, #performance over appearence, #fist of death, #mean, #coworkers
Transcript
wally: "You know what I admire about you, Alice?" "You obviously value performance over appearance." Alice: "Thank you." "Wait... If that was a compliment, why is my fist of death tingling?"
Saturday January 08,
2005
Tags #transformational change, #feel different, #nauseas felling, #going to hurl, #change feels like
Transcript
The Boss: Our differentiating value-added strategy is transformational change. "How was that? Does anyone feel different?" Alice: "My urge to hurl was increased a little bit." The Boss: "That's what change feels like."