Water Damage Comic Strips - Page 11

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115 Results for Water Damage

View 101 - 110 results for water damage comic strips. Discover the best "Water Damage" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #better deal, #coworkers, #hike jacket, #lunch, #miser salad, #paying half, #respected colleague, #steaks

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WallyL Tina would you like y go to lunch with me? as a coworker or as a date? as a respected colleague. tina: sounds fishy. I know you're up to something: I just don't know what. you're getting the better deal. I'll be looking at your face but you get to look at me. Maybe you could hike up your jacket to occur your face. wally: fair enough, Tina: thi sis not a a=date. I insist on paying fifty percent. wally: Ok. Tina: I'll have the miser salad and water. wally: I'll have three half priced new york steaks.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angle, #central cubicle commitee, #floaty device, #guidelines!, #shift, #stapled, #wally pool

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Dilbert sits in his cubicle adjusting his computer. A man with a strange hat comes in and says, "Halt!" The man continues, "You moved your computer without approval from the central cubicle committee." Dilbert touches the computer screen again and says, "I was simply adjusting the angle." The man in the strange hat gasps. The man throws up his arms and says, "Fool! It will cost $200 for a team of technicians to move it back." Dilbert holds up his plant and says, "It's better this way so my plant won't fall off." The man looks on appalled. The man screams, "We have guidelines!!" Dilbert says, "I know. I stapled them to my wall." Wally sits on float in his cubicle, which is filled to the top with water. Dilbert says, "You'd be surprised what isn't allowed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punishment & torture, #punishment devices, #surveillance, #waterboard, #enjoy it, #not touched alot, #creepy, #turture techniques

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Abducted by the government NSA Agent: We're going to waterboard you now. Dilbert: Really? Cool. I don't get touched a lot, so I think I'll enjoy it. Is that all the water you brought? NSA Agent: Okay, this got creepy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise & fitness, #fear, #obesity, #insanity workout video, #sixty pounds, #one day, #sweat, #water weight, #obsession

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Wally: Weren't you obese yesterday? Dilbert: I got the "Insanity" workout video. Wally: What kind of exercise makes you lose sixty pounds in one day? Dilbert: I didn't exercise. All I did was watch it. Shaun T: And that was the easy part...

Dolphin Lives In Sea Water

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Dolphin Lives In Sea Water - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animal behavior, #animals in captivity, #dolphin, #exotic pets, #fish & aquatic mammals, #russia, #russian military, #birthday clowns, #drwoned, #seawater, #angry

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CEO: I bought a dolphin for my daughter's birthday party. But it turned out to be a retired Russian military dolphin. It dragged one of the birthday clowns into the pool and drowned him. Dilbert: I though dolphins need to live in seawater. CEO: Maybe that's why it's so angry.

Too Much Exposition

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Too Much Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dolphin, #exposition, #hit man, #murder for hire, #stories, #storytelling, #ceo, #russian dolphin, #militray, #smartphone, #stolen, #mansion

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Dilbert: Our CEO Bought a Russian military dolphin for his daughter's pool party and it killed a party clown. Then it stole a smartphone and hired Dogbert to put a hit on the CEO so the dolphin... Garbage Man: That's way too much exposition. Dilbert: ...fill the CEO's mansion with water and live in it forever.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales, #price, #prices, #bidding, #bid, #blackmail, #business

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Dilbert: This is not the deal we agreed on. Man: I forgot a few things on the first estimate, but you need them. Dilbert: I only picked you because you had the lowest price. Man: Yes, but not the vendor selection is done and it would be too much trouble for you to start over. It might even damage your career because you delayed the project. You could go to the second-highest bidder, but those guys would do the same thing to you. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I have no choice! This is blackmail, not commerce! Man: We call it "sales." I'll need all the cash in your wallet, too.

Ted Has Fly Brain

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Ted Has Fly Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #greeting card, #sick, #brain damage, #marketing, #advertising, #mindless, #business, #medical

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Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.

Drone Defense Kills Birds

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Drone Defense Kills Birds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #drone, #national security, #design, #birds, #flying, #collateral damage

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Boss: How's the drone defense shield design coming along? Dilbert: Super. The only risk is that it will kill every bird in the sky on day one. Boss: Don't birds have feet? They can just walk. Dilbert: I'll add that to the slide deck.

We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots

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We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #damage control, #slogan, #tag line, #image, #business

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CEO: A feature article in the business press called our leadership a "bunch of morons." Boss: To counter that slanderous story, our new market slogan is "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons!" CEO: Problem solved. Boss: It was deceptively easy.