5 Year After Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

686 Results for 5 Year After

View 101 - 110 results for 5 year after comic strips. Discover the best "5 Year After" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1994's comic on:


Tags #head of market research, #120k salary, #value opinions, #refrence, #honesty, #pay these days

View Transcript

Transcript

"I got a job as the head of market research at your company. I'll be pulling down $120 K per year." "I don't value otehr people's opinions so I'll just use my own." "Just for reference, how much does honesty pay these days?" "Shut up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #after marriage, #get phsyical, #husband be mad, #look sad, #oddly appealing, #dating a while, #liz

View Transcript

Transcript

Liz: We've been dating for a while and I find you oddly appealing... But I don't believe in getting physical until after Im married. wouldn't your husband get mad? LIZ: Sometimes it okay just to look sad and shut up.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1994's comic on:


Tags #cranky, #discover religion, #physical until marriage, #unitarian, #liz, #dilbert serene, #dogbert talks liz

View Transcript

Transcript

"I don't understand something, Liz. You told Dilbert you don't want to be physical until after marriage..." "I would expect him to be cranky around the house, yet he's quite relaxed...serene. I don't see how...unless..." "Did you discover religion?" "I think I'm Unitarian."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #tough year, #special team, #much smaller team

View Transcript

Transcript

"This will be a tough year for the company." "It will take a special kind of team to get by." "Go team!" "Team! Team!" "Yes!" "Specifically, it will take a much smaller team."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #downsize, #improve service

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our two goals this year are to downsize and to improve customer service. Dilbert: question: how can you improve service if you're getting rid f service people? The Boss: who do you think is screwing up the customer service? duh...

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #boot camp, #conquer the earth, #genetic mutations, #half man, #sea monkeys, #half cucumber

View Transcript

Transcript

"What are you planting?" "I'm growing an army of genetic mutants to do my bidding." "Half man, half giant cucumber, these unthinking brutes will help me conquer the Earth!" "Didn't you try this with sea monkeys last year?" "None of them survived boot camp."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #after every typo, #point and click, #poorly documented commands, #reboot, #interface

View Transcript

Transcript

"We could design the product with a simple point - and - click interface..." "Or we could require the user to choose among thousands of poorly documented commands, each of which must be typed exactly right on the first try." "Bear in mind, we'll never meet a customer ourselves." "Make it so they have to reboot after every typo."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #sales, #two years, #sudden surge, #business case apporved, #get promoted, #accountability, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I predict sales to be nothing for two years and then take a sudden surge. Dilbert: Why? Ted: The surge was added so I could get the business case approved. The two -year lag gives me time to get promoted. Dilbert: What about accountability? Dilbert: thats where you come in.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1994's comic on:


Tags #2004, #cheaper than dating, #date at door, #Dogbert, #future, #holodeck, #virtual reality, #writing article, #money, #male hormones

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I can predict the future by assuming that money and male hormones are the driving forces for new technology." "Therefore, when virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed." "Year 2004" Date: "Is Dilbert available?" DOgbert: "He's been in the holodeck since March."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogbert ethics advisor, #prodcut, #mail people, #high fees, #procedure, #ethics advice, #return stupid prodcut

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We mail our product to people and tell them it's free for one year." "Then we start nailing them with high fees because they'll forget the procedure for returning the product. They're trapped." "So, did you have some ethics advice?" "No. I asked you here so I can return your stupid product."