Afraid Of Dogs Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for afraid of dogs comic strips. Discover the best "Afraid Of Dogs" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Here's your coffee. Maybe the wizard can give you some ambition. "Aaah..." "Aren't you afraid that the wicked witch will send her winged cat after us?" "Say what?" "I need headcount for my project. Bring them to me!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Our CEO appreciates pushback. "The last thing he wants is a bunch of yes men." "Don't be afraid to stand your ground. He respects that." "My plan is to form business units around each product line." PLAN "Excuse me. We tried that once and it didn't work." "You're fired. Leave now." "Cruelty or convenience?" "I needed a cubicle to store my extra binders."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Your management performance has been abysmal. I'm afraid I have to minimize you. "Minimize? Is that like downsize?" "Downsizing is only for non-managers." "Abysmal managers get minimized. Follow me." "Your new office is the size of a refrigerator crisper." "You will have no direct reports and your job title will be 'Director of Unnecessary and Special Projects.'" "Can I ever be maximized?" "Maybe if some other manager jumps off the roof." "You're right - the view up here is spectacular!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Aren't you afraid that Google will try to squash you for inventing a better search engine?" "Their company motto is 'Don't Be Evil.' It's not as if they have a death ray or something." Google Headquarters "Now look in the big hole, Eric."

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Share January 29, 2007's comic on:


Tags #on payroll, #fool proof dna, #identifying losers, #dna doesn't match, #too many losers

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Dogbert Consults Dogbert: Your problem is that you have too many losers on the payroll. Luckily I have developed a fool-proof DNA test for identifying losers. Well, I'm afraid your DNA doesn't match mine, loser.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2007's comic on:


Tags #25 each, #cheap hot dogs, #cover charge, #employee appreciation day, #evil director, #harder to appreciate, #pocket money

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: Employee Appreciation Day is next Tuesday. The cover charge is $25 apiece. wally: How do we know you won't buy cheap hot dogs and pocket the rest of our money? Catbert: Every day it gets harder to appreciate you." gulp gulp gulp

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #amorphous cloud of gas, #once human, #avoid commitment, #molecules stop binding, #subtle odor, #copier room, #micromanage, #input

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The Boss says, "We can't move forward until you get input from Allen." The Boss says, "And that won't be easy. Allen is an amorphous cloud of gas." The Boss says, "He once was human like us." The Boss says, "Allen was afraid to give his opinion or make a decision." The Boss says, "He put so much effort into avoiding commitment that his molecules stopped binding together." The Boss says, "Now he exists as nothing but a subtle odor near the copier room." Dilbert says, "How can I get his input?" The Boss says, "Don't make me micromanage you." Dilbert says, "Allen? Is that you?" Wally says, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #dating, #flirting, #dinner, #afraid, #confused, #yelling, #relationships

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Woman says, "You're not my type. Why am I attracted to you? How did you do this, you monster!" Dilbert says, "In troubling economic times, my financial stability appeals to your survival instincts. It's basic evolution." Woman says, "Gaaa!!! That made me bored and aroused at the same time!" Dilbert says, "Science!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #crying, #afraid, #nervous, #breakdown, #business

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Job tension is running high Asok says, "I?I?forgot to total the cost estimates." Asok says, "Gaaaa!!!! You're going to fire me! I'm the next casualty of the frail economy!!!" The boss says, "Maybe we could finish this by e-mail." Asok says, "Must improve street-mime skills!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #story, #topping, #bragging, #ridiculous, #lying, #annoyed

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Topper Alice says, "I went for a long walk yesterday." Topper says, "That's nothing." Topper says, "My thighs are so strong that I'm afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead." Alice says, "You're full of beans." Man says, "Exactly. That's how I achieve escape velocity."