Asking Comic Strips - Page 11

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132 Results for Asking

View 101 - 110 results for asking comic strips. Discover the best "Asking" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, mathematics, work ethic, work time, donate, 1% work time, charitable cause, 110% to job, learn math, asking employess, business

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Boss: Our CEO has asked each of us to donate 1% of our work time to a charitable cause. Dilbert: Last week you told us to give 110% to our work. Does this mean we can back off to 109%? Boss: No, you should give 110% to everything you do. Dilbert: Maybe my charitable cause could be helping you learn math.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work load, complaints, inexperinced, exact opposite, doesn't know much, hired useless man, bad attendence, not perfect, ask questions

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Boss: You complained about your work load, SO I hired an inexperienced guy to help. Dilbert: This is exactly the opposite of what I wanted. Boss: He doesn't know much, But he makes up for it by asking lots of questions. Dilbert: So He'll be bugging me every minute? Boss: Not every minute. He takes a lot of sick days. Dilbert: So....you hired a guy who is useless, But its okay because he also has bad attendance? Boss: Its not a perfect world. Is this a good time to ask some questions?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags optimism, work ethic, career advancement, asking advice, pet kangaroo, marry one, time lag, Promotion

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Dilbert: Research says that asking for advice doubles your odds of career advancement. Do you think I should get a pet kangaroo? Boss: I don't care if you marry one. Dilbert: I wonder how long the time lag is until my promotion.

Takes Money To Make Money

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Takes Money To Make Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asking questions, faith, idiom, idioms, money, questioning, sayings

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Boss: It takes money to make money. Dilbert: Then... where did the first money come from? Boss: God? Dilbert: Don't let him hear doubt in your voice.

Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok

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Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, diversification, investment, obliviousness, stock market, money

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Asok: Do you have any investment tips? Boss: You're asking the right person! I can teach you how to time the market, catch a falling knife, and invest in a dead-cat bounce. That's my system. Asok: What about diversification? Boss: I don't invest in anything I can't spell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, ceos, raise, asking for a raise, compensation, money, wages, comparison, wage discrepancy, mansion

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Boss: I can only give you a 3% raise. If you want more, take it up with our CEO. Dilbert: I'd like to explain why I deserve more than a 3% raise. As a negotiating strategy, Dogbert will simultaneously read a media report about your lavish $85 million mansion. I invented three new technologies this year. Dogbert: "The toilets are solid gold." Dilbert: I wrote most of the code for our new product. Dogbert: "The helicopter pad is on the roof of the car museum." Dilbert: I worked eighty hours per week. Dogbert: "Every elevator has a full kitchen." Dilbert: I could earn more at Google or Apple... Dogbert: "Entire house rotates for optimal sun exposure." Dilbert: Do you see where I'm going with this? CEO: High-five?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, work, google, big business, projects, ideas, innovation

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CEO: We're borrowing a policy from Google because they are so awesome. You may now use 20% of your workday on your own project ideas. Dilbert: Are you saying we can do 20% less work on our core functions? CEO: No, no. Nothing like that. I'm saying you can work on your own project ideas for 20% of your time. Dilbert: Okay... so... if the 20% doesn't come out of our work hours, where does it come from? Alice: I think he's trying to make us work 20% longer for the same amount of pay. Dilbert; We could just tell people we do it, but not do it. CEO: Same as Google! That's all I'm asking.

Dilbert And Alice Add Features

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Dilbert And Alice Add Features - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, simplicity, engineers, complication, complicated, coffee, mug, overthinking

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Wally: Our boss asked me to totally ruin my double-handled coffee mug invention by adding features. I am asking each of you to suppress your engineering impulses just this one time and let this perfect product stay perfect. Dilbert: It would be perfect if it had wi-fi and a projection keyboard. Alice: Maybe add some health sensors and GPS.

Why Can't You Be Happy

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Why Can't You Be Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negative, negativity, happiness, catch-22, happy, psychology

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Boss: I'm tired of your negativity, Alice. Alice: Why can't you be happy about it? Boss: How can I be happy about something negative? Alice: Aren't you asking me to do that? Or am I missing the point?

Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job

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Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, labor, free, taking advantage, side job, boss, conflict of interest

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Boss: Did you finish the website I asked you to make for my side business? Dilbert: No, because you keep me busy 100 percent of the time in my regular job. Boss: Hey, it isn't easy asking for twice as many status updates either.