Bad For Business Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Bad For Business

View 101 - 110 results for bad for business comic strips. Discover the best "Bad For Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #ted, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'm told by a reliable source that our senior vice president made a sound like 'yurp' at lunch." The Boss continues, "What does it mean? Does it signal a new set of priorities? We must demonstrate our commitment to this vision." Dilbert asks, "What was the context of this vision?" The Boss replies, "All we know is he was eating a burrito."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #business consulting, #pyschic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. Dogbert says, "I am Dogbert the Psychic Business Consultant. I can read minds." The Boss asks, "If you can read minds, what's my favorite color?" Dogbert replies, "Your favorite color is puce, but you are mistakenly thinking of a primary color because you don't know what puce is." The Boss says, "Whoa . . . I just got a shiver."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #Wally, #pyschic, #business consulting, #computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the Boss, "I sense death . . ." Dogbert and the Boss stand behind Wally's desk. Dogbert says, "It's coming from here. Yes, he's definitely dead." Dogbert says to the Boss, "You should bury him. He already smells bad." Wally says, "I'll bet this isn't heaven."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #elbonian men, #Dilbert, #management, #business consulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to three Elbonians, "I've been sent to teach you 'Total Quality Management.'" Dilbert points at a visual aid that says "Quality equals good (1950)." Dilbert says, "In the old days, quality was just an empty word meaning 'good.'" Dilbert continues, "Eventually it evolved into a complicated method for transferring your money to business consultants."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "This thankless assignment shall go to whoever asks a question or makes eye contact." The employees all look away as the Boss continues, "It's really, really stupid . . . Does anybody want to question it?" Alice slides a pocket mirror across the table. The Boss says, "I think I see Ted's eyes in the mirror." Dilbert says, "Good one, Alice!" Ted gasps.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #business project, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "You engineers have done NOTHING on my project. You just keep saying I haven't given you sufficient requirements!" The man throws his arms up in frustration and says, "I don't know what else you need and you won't tell me what you need!! Is this just your way of avoiding work??!" Wally replies, "I'll bet you regret choosing marketing as a career path." Dilbert adds, "It looks like a lot of work."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ed, #business meeting, #business project

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally watch the Boss tell Ed, "Nervous Ed, I'm assigning you to a special project." Nervous Ed pulls his tie and replies, "Special assignment? That means you don't have any real work for me." Nervous Ed continues, "Everybody knows that a special assignment is a kiss of death." The Boss continues, "You'll be sharing a cubicle with six other employees who are also on special assignment." Nervous Ed looks scared and thinks, "Don't panic yet . . . Maybe it's something important . . . Maybe it's something that could make an impact." The Boss says, "Your assignment is to improve employee empowerment." Nervous Ed looks shocked. Nervous Ed convulses and faints. Wally tells the Boss, "Thanks for letting us watch." The Boss asks, "Did you like the part about six in the cubicle?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #ted, #Wally, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Welcome to the four hour . . ." The Boss yells, "Meeting from HELL!!" He laughs diabolically. Dilbert thinks, "That's rarely a good sign."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #troll, #cave, #bureaucracy, #computer, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert enters a cave. A door above the sign says "Bureaucracy." Dilbert tells a troll sitting at a desk, "I need to buy an upgrade for my computer." The troll growls. The troll replies, "First, you must write a business case and get five signatures." Another troll jumps onto Dilbert's back. The troll sitting at the desk continues, "Get bids from nine vendors." Another troll approaches Dilbert. The troll continues, "All vendors must be approved by a vote of the vendor approval committee." The troll lists, ". . . Purchase order . . . Budget transfer . . . Legal review . . . Accounting classification . . . Inventory . . ." Several trolls cling to Dilbert's body. The troll explains, "These steps are necessary to prevent employees from doing something uneconomical." Dilbert arrives at home with several trolls clinging to his body. Dogbert asks, ". . . So you suggested a process 'quality audit'?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah, that's the one clinging to my buttocks."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #job, #application, #Promotion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk and shouts, "I'm a loud dog! Give me a job! You must obey me because I'm loud!" The Boss says, "Okay okay." Dogbert says, "That was too easy. There must be something wrong with the job. It must be an entry level job . . ." Dogbert stands on the desk and kicks something at the Boss. Dogbert shouts, "I want a raise!! Promote me, you imbecile!!" The Boss thinks, "Bad trend."