Blame Insurance Carrier Comic Strips - Page 11

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147 Results for Blame Insurance Carrier

View 101 - 110 results for blame insurance carrier comic strips. Discover the best "Blame Insurance Carrier" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #air travel, #extra legroom, #aisle seat, #no baby section, #extra bag, #priority boarding, #in flight entertainment, #flight insurance, #wi-fi, #airplane etxras

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Carol: Do you want extra legroom on your flight? It costs more. Boss: Yes. Carol: Do you want an aisle seat? That costs extra. Boss: Yes. Carol: Do you want a no-baby section? It costs extra. Boss: Yes. Carol: Extra bag? Boss: Yes. Carol: Meal? Boss: Yes. Carol: Priority boarding? Boss: Yes. Carol: In-flight entertainment? Wi-fi? Flight insurance? We're almost done. Just twelve more questions. Your ticket comes to $27,689. And it's only three stops! Boss: No let's do the return flight. One hour later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accusations, #anxiety, #continuous barrage, #firewall, #inevitable villager, #pessimism, #villagers with torches

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Boss: Dilbert, I want you to install the new firewall. Dilbert: Noooo!!!! Why me? Why me? The firewall guy gets blamed for every problem. People will say "Everything worked until you changed the firewall." There will be no rest for me. I will have to defend myself against a continuous barrage of accusations. It's always the firewall! Everyone blames the stinkin' firewall! I surrender to the inevitable! Villagers, grab your pitchforks and torches! Boss: How did he get that way? Wally: I blame the firewall.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #magic, #thinking, #already exits, #morphic field, #pseudo scinec, #crappy genes, #filberts mother, #explains things

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Dilbert: Every time I think I've invented something, I find out it already exists. Mombert: Maybe that's because all minds are connected by the morphic field. Dilbert: Morphic fields are pseudoscience, mom. Mombert: I also blame your dad's crappy genes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #deadlines, #originality, #partnership, #project milestones, #toxic moron, #incapable, #original thought, #same

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Boss: You two have failed to meet your project milestones. Dilbert: That's because you paired me with a toxic moron who is incapable of having an original thought. Coworker: That happened to me, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #ceos, #cnbc, #executives, #home address, #layoffs, #new prodcuts, #product, #quarterly, #zero

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CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?

Success Is About Who You Know

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Success Is About Who You Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #blaming, #success, #who you know

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Wally: Success is all about who you know. I'm not successful, so apparently it doesn't help to know you. Dilbert: I"m sorry I let you down. Wally: It's as if you aren't even trying.

Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet

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Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #numbers, #math, #blame, #messenger, #education

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Dilbert: My boss asked me to show you some numbers he put together. CEO: Why are you wearing gloves? Dilbert: I'm afraid to get it on my hands.

Ted Never Got The File

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Ted Never Got The File - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #communication, #responsibility, #technology, #guest artist, #brenna thummler

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Ted: I never got the file you said you would send. Dilbert: I don't know what file type you want. Ted: Why didn't you ask? Dilbert: Why didn't you check your email and see that I did? Ted: Why didn't you text me to say you emailed me? Dilbert: Why don't you drive into a ravine?

All Options Lead To Doom

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All Options Lead To Doom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #blame, #responsibility, #scapegoat

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Dilbert: All of our options lead to doom. The only thing we can control is who we blame. Boss: That sounds about right. Except for the "we" part.

Managing Your Boss

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Managing Your Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #accountability, #blame, #time, #time management

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Boss: Your project is three weeks behind schedule. Dilbert: That's the exact amount of time I was waiting for you to answer my questions. Boss: You need to manage me better. Dilbert: Okay, you're fired.