Brain Wash Customoers Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for brain wash customoers comic strips. Discover the best "Brain Wash Customoers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I just saw a study that says the dull appearance of my cubicle is probably inhibiting the growth of neurons in my brain! "Try sitting there for a few hours and then tell me if you feel any different." "Now I can't remember what I was complaining about."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Blah, blah, blah, blah." "Uh-oh." "It's 2 o'clock and my brain has shut down for the afternoon." "Blah, blah, blah, blah..." "I have no idea what he's talking about." "This calls for some generic leadership." "Do a cost-benefit analysis, get buy-in from all the key stakeholders, and track the critical metrics." "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a conference call." push "How did anyone manage before there were fake conference calls?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Dilbert, this is Amber Dextrous, your new co-worker." "Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you." "She's going for the hug." "Oh heck, I'll just go with the flow and for once not be the socially awkward one." "She wasn't going for the hug. She shakes with both hands." "She's the perfect employee. She can do two things at the same time!" "Human resources surgically separated the two sides of her brain so she can multitask." Two days later "I'm sorry to report that Amber drowned while trying to talk and drink water at the same time." "Human resources would like to see you after this meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #bearded guy, #too close, #Dilbert, #bugged out, #touching brain with nose

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Then I said... Dilbert: He is totally violating my personal space with his non-standard facial hair." "HA! HA! HA! HA!" Gaaa!!! His warm, moist breath is all over me!" "Please stop touching my brain with your nose."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2007's comic on:


Tags #changes, #pension plan, #company wide, #email, #read email, #compulsion, #details, #engineers, #brain, #best meeting, #humiliate boss, #called out

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The Boss: "I called this meeting to discuss the changes to the pension plan." Alice: "We already saw the company-wide e-mail about the changes." Dilbert: "And we're all engineers, so we understand the details better than you do." Alice: "I'll bet you intend to waste our time by reading the e-mail to us." ask: "You can't stop yourself. it's some sort of compulsion." Alice: "If you read that e-mail, it's proof that something is wrong with your brain." The Boss: "Can't...resist...reading...e-mail." "GAAA!!!" Alice & Dilbert: "Best meeting ever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2007's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human resources, #happy things, #working, #sensors, #alert management, #pleasure areas brain, #blood flow, #happier not knowing, #business

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Catbert: evil director of human resources Catbert: "Some of you have been thinking about happy things when you should be working." "These sensors will alert management any time the pleasure areas of your brain have more blood flow." "I was happier not knowing." ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2007's comic on:


Tags #employe brain monitor, #thinking, #coffee, #digestive functions, #im blind!

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Catbert: "According to our employee brain monitor, you have not been thinking about work." "All of your brain activity is in the zones that control love of coffee, digestive functions and...uh-oh." "I'M BLIND!!!" Wally: "Oh, that one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2007's comic on:


Tags #empty brain, #stress, #word knowledge, #past the filters, #mantra, #lindsay lohan, #britney spears, #paris hilton

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Ratbert: My brain is empty. "It feels great!" "Stress is just another word for knowledge." "Wait a minute. How do I know that?" "GAAA!!! Something got past the filters!" "Must...Do...Mantra..." "Lindsay Lohan...Britney Spears...Paris Hilton...Ommmmm." Dogbert: "Are you all good now?" Ratbert: "Have we met?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2007's comic on:


Tags #suggestions, #marble sized brain, #twice as smooth, #root cause, #mating for generations

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"What didn't you use any of my suggestions?" Dilbert: "My thoery is that your brain is the size of a marble, and twice as smooth." "The root cause probably involves slow learners mating for many generations."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #order from boss, #reptilian brain, #not apparent, #move cubicle, #closer to department

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The boss: "Alice, I want you to move to a cubicle closer to the rest of the department." Alice: "Is there a reason that isn't apparent, or is this coming from the reptilian part of your brain?" The boss: "How would you know?" Alice: "That's a surprisingly good point."