Class Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
132 Results for Class
View 101 - 110 results for class comic strips. Discover the best "Class" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 30,
2013
Tags eating & drinking, engineers, etiquette & ethics, crone, etiquette class, fork, teach things
Transcript
Boss: I hired a desiccated crone to teach an etiquette class to you engineering heathens. She'll help you stop eating your business lunches like kidnap victims. Crone: When do you use this fork? Alice: When I'm too lazy to make a shiv?
Tuesday November 18,
2014
Co Ceo Died Kitesurfing
Tags apathy, ceos, death, emotions, executives, bad news, publicity stunt, margins, died, medical
Transcript
Dogbert the Co-CEO. Dilbert: I have bad news. Your Co-CEO died trying to kitesurf some class 6 rapids for a publicity stunt. Dogbert: Get to the bad part. Is it margins?
Wednesday September 30,
2015
Tags martial arts, yoga, stupid, idiot, confusion, tai chi, karate, misunderstanding
Transcript
Boss: I signed up for a martial arts class. It's something called "yoga." Carol: Have you killed anyone yet? Boss: Not on purpose.
Sunday December 06,
2015
Tags logic, reasoning, managing, managers, leadership, quality, absurd
Transcript
Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.
Tuesday December 29,
2015
Wally And Gender Balance
Tags career, Advice, gender, technology
Transcript
Boss: What did you say to my daughter's class about stem careers? Wally: I told the boys to pursue restaurant work because it's a better way to meet women. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: You said you want gender balance, and now you have it.
Wednesday March 16,
2016
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags book, deal, negotiating, negotiation, self help, guest artist, josh shipley
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.
Thursday March 17,
2016
Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing
Tags distraction, strategy, guest artist, josh shipley
Transcript
Boss: The employees who took your class on negotiating are complaining that they learned nothing. Dogbert: I heart those same employees scheming to vandalize your network. Boss: Now that's all I can think about! How did you do that? Dogbert: Gotta go.
Sunday April 10,
2016
Tags communication, managers, training, obstacle, laziness
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I take a class to improve my communication skills? Boss: What are you talking about? Dilbert: I want to take a class that teaches me how to communicate better. Boss: I don't understand what you're asking me. Dilbert: I am asking permission to take a class to help me communicate better. Boss: I see your lips moving but I can't figure out what you're asking. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! There's no way to get there from here! Boss: I'm glad I took that management class on how to not listen. It already paid off.
Saturday July 30,
2016
Wally And Agile Programming
Tags laziness, work ethic, avoid, evasion, acrobatics
Transcript
Boss: I'll ask Wally to write this software. I haven't seen him since he took that agile programming class.
Monday October 24,
2016
Mandatory Safety Meeting
Tags safety, catch-22, choosing, unsafe
Transcript
Boss: You have to go to a mandatory safety training class right now. Dilbert: Is it safe for me to miss the deadline you gave me for this assignment? Boss: No, you lose either way. Dilbert: Hmm. Maybe I could work all night from home then drive to work exhausted.

