Dating App Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

200 Results for Dating App

View 101 - 110 results for dating app comic strips. Discover the best "Dating App" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #acquaintances, #gadgets, #online stalking victim, #social media app, #friends

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I wrote a social media app that can tell me how many friends other people have. App: Zero friends... 75 acquaintances... one nemesis... nine online stalking victims... Wally: Are you double-counting my stalking victims? Some of them are also acquaintances.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #engineers, #framework, #allow construction, #large scale analytical queries, #unstructured data, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: So, what do you do for a living? Dilbert: I'm working on a framework to allow construction of large-scale analytical queries on unstructured data. Woman: I'm a little turned on by that. Dilbert: Settle down. It's just a framework.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #mobile (cell) phones, #humiliation, #disrespect, #company, #relationships, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you mind if i check something on my phone? Woman: Why would I mind the humiliation and disrespect of being with a man who prefers the company of his phone? Dilbert: That's the sort of attitude that makes you finish second to my phone.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #ad company, #deceptive and abusive, #mobile app, #crying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired the Dogbert Ad Company to build some deceptive and abusive ads for our mobile app. Dogbert: I prefer to call our ads "effective." It means the same thing. Our most effective ad looks like a text message from your doctor saying he can't stop crying.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #app development, #forced labor camp, #frustration, #private offuce, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The North Elbonians accused me of being a spy and put me in a forced labor camp. It sounds worse than it was. I had a private office and all I did was app development. Boss: How did you escape? Dilbert: I didn't. I took a personal day to tell you how much you suck.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee & tea, #double coffee, #success, #work ethic, #passion, #necessary

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm double-mugging because I heard that passion is necessary for success. By 4pm I'll be so passionate I'll be dating my chair. Catbert: Nothing about that sounded right.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #organic parts, #cyborg technology, #robot, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dating in 2018 Woman: Your organic parts are unimpressive. But, wow, your cyborg technology is scorching hot. Dilbert: I knew my day would come. Woman: I want to make a robot with you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #frustration, #relations between the sexes, #modern world, #purpose of men, #money, #bad jokes, #faltulence, #useless men, #pondering on importance, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I'm not sure what function men serve in the modern world. My job pays well, so I have all the money I need. If something in my house breaks, I either fix it or pay someone to fix it. If I want a baby, I'll call a fertility doctor. In today's world, men are little more than carriers of bad jokes and flatulence. My gardener mows my lawn. Dilbert: I get it!!! Dogbert: That is disturbing. Dilbert: Not compared to the alternatives.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad treatment, #dating, #honesty, #low self esteem, #mental health, #mixed signals, #therapist, #relationships, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: My therapist says I have low self-esteem. Dilbert: I like where this is heading. Woman: I'm drawn to guys who treat me poorly. Dilbert: You sound crazy. Woman: Jerk. Dilbert: In my defense, you send mixed signals.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #internet & world wide web, #social media cosultant, #one like, #less than ten thousand, #insulting, #elbonian, #inflate your like count, #socialize, #wine glasses, #bar wine, #kiss, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a social media consultant. Dilbert: I like you. Woman: Phhht. You're giving me one like? Anything less than ten thousand likes is an insult. Dilbert: I'll be right back. I hired an Elbonian to artificially inflate your like count. Elbonian: Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Dilbert: I am not paying that guy.