Electronic Mail Comic Strips - Page 11
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248 Results for Electronic Mail
View 101 - 110 results for electronic mail comic strips. Discover the best "Electronic Mail" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 02,
1998
Tags #tina tech writer, #engineers, #information requested, #sow seeds, #destruction, #snarling, #compose email
Transcript
Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina writes, "To: All Engineers. From: Tina the Tech Writer." Tina grimaces. Tina writes, "Give me the information I requested, or sow the seeds of your own destruction!" Tina thinks, "One should never compose e-mail while one is snarling."
Saturday October 24,
1998
Tags #dogbert the consultant, #brain wash customoers, #long term goal, #train customers, #mail money, #advertsiements, #send them product
Transcript
Caption: Dogbert the consultant. Dogbert stands on chair facing the Boss who sits behind his desk. Dogbert says, "You must brainwash your customers to prefer your brand for no reason." Dogbert says, "The long-term goal is to train your customers to mail you money every time they see your advertisements." The Boss says, "Would we send them our product?" Dogbert says, "Hello-o-o, brain stem."
Sunday October 25,
1998
Tags #improve communications, #two pennies, #give two cents worth, #cute, #avoid seeing boss, #pretend dead, #nickel
Transcript
The Boss enters Alice's cubicle and says, "In order to improve communications..." Alice says, "Please don't." The Boss says, "Every morning I'll give you two pennies." The Boss holds out the change and says, "Every afternoon, you return them and 'give me your two cents' worth.'" The Boss stares at Alice and says, "Get it? It's cute." Alice asks, "So I get to keep the money if I avoid seeing you?" The Boss stands and holds his hands together. Alice continues, "How much will you pay me to avoid your voice mail too?" Alice leans over the wall of the cubicle and calls after the Boss, "I'll pretend you're dead for a nickel." The Boss says, "I hate them all."
Monday December 07,
1998
Tags #asok, #alice, #report to alice, #email, #difficult communications
Transcript
The Boss walks with Asok into Alice's cubicle. The boss says, "From now on, Asok, you'll report to Alice instead of me." The boss says, "You can never directly speak to me again. Everything must go through Alice." Asok turn to Alice. Asok says, "Tell him I understand." Alice says, "Submit your request by e-mail."
Tuesday December 08,
1998
Tags #email, #alice ignores asok, #voice mail, #doesn't respond
Transcript
Asok peers into Alice's cubicle. Asok says, "Alice, you never responded to my e-mail." Asok says, "Maybe I could ask you my question, now in person?" Alice says, "Send me a voice mail." Asok says, "Will you respond to a voice mail?" Alice says, "Sometimes the phone company loses them."
Wednesday December 09,
1998
Tags #asok dsitraught, #can't do work, #no response, #emails voice mails, #pathetic defeated losers, #Wally
Transcript
Asok leans on Wally's desk. Wally sits at his computer. Asok says, "No one returns my phone calls.... no reads the e-mail I send." Asok says, "I find myself hanging around with other pathetic, defeated losers." Asok says, "No offense." Wally says, "None taken."
Saturday January 30,
1999
Tags #biggest customer, #missed deadline, #overnight mail, #evil and lazy, #bonus effort, #second guess
Transcript
The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, we lost our biggest customer because you missed the R.F.Q. deadline." Alice says, "That's because YOU said all overnight mail must go through your evil and lazy secretary." Alice says, "So you're probably going to apologize and give me a bonus for my effort." the boss says, "What's your second guess?"
Monday March 29,
1999
Tags #bill agtes, #bill gates, #competition keeper, #infrared, #linus rules, #linux box, #missiles, #sent email, #visit mom, #dilberts mother
Transcript
Dilbert's mom and Dilbert sit on the couch in Dilbert's living room. Dilbert's mom says, "...I'm going to infrared from the keyboard to my "linux" box." She has a keyboard on her lap. Dilbert says, "Nice mom" Dilbert's mom makes a fist and says, "I just sent a flaming e-mail to Bill gates, saying "Linux rules!" Dilbert says, "you what?" Bill gates sits in captians chair in a military looking facility. Bill says, "Launch the competitionkeeper missiles."
Monday May 03,
1999
Tags #boss is away, #unscrupulous, #employee, #send email, #account, #odd looking nostrils
Transcript
Wally looks into the boss' office. Wally thinks, "The boss is away." Wally stands by the boss' desk and thinks, "An unscrupulous employee could send e-mail from his account." Wally types at the boss' computer "The following employees have odd-looking nostrils."
Sunday June 06,
1999
Tags #email two copies, #fax, #green paper, #email, #files, #hard copy, #internet, #motivation gone, #losing consciousness, #lazy employees, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the boss' desk. The boss says, "e-mail two copies to me when you're done." Dilbert says, "Two copies? It's e0mail." The boss says, "So?" Dilbert says, "Never mind. I'll e-mail two copies." The boss says, "and fax a copy in green paper for my files." Dilbert says, "Green? It's a fax!" The boss walks Dilbert out of his office and says, "And bring me a hard copy of the internet so I can do some serious surfing." Dilbert begins to faint in the doorway. Dilbert thinks, "Motivation.... gonve.. losing consciousness.." Dilber joins the pile of passed out employess by the boss' door. The boss thinks, "How did I end up with all the lazy employees?"