Face Front Comic Strips - Page 11
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721 Results for Face Front
View 101 - 110 results for face front comic strips. Discover the best "Face Front" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday November 08,
1991
Tags Dilbert, japanese, offer, company, ceo, employees, laid off, accept, neener, Dogbert
Transcript
A man stands in front of Dilbert's desk and says, "The Japanese have made an offer to buy the company." The man continues, "As CEO you would make $68 million . . . But the employees would all be laid off." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "If I accept, what will I say to the employees?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'neener neener?'"
Sunday November 17,
1991
Tags Dilbert, late, date, ellen, shampoo, carpets, Crossword, puzzle, attractive, superiority, complete, disregard, ugly, adorable, face, stunned, stupor, flowers
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant by himself. He looks at his watch and says, "She's an hour late." A woman approaches the table. Dilbert says, "Hi, Ellen. Didn't we agree on seven?" Ellen replies, "Hi, Dilbert." Ellen says, "I was ready on time but I decided to shampoo my carpets." Ellen continues, "Then I got involved in a crossword puzzle." Ellen explains, "This is how attractive people assert their superiority over the rest of you." Ellen continues, "Don't take it personally. I have a complete disregard for the feelings of all ugly people." Ellen continues, "I'll make this adorable face and you'll go into a stunned-ugly-guy stupor and forget the whole thing." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . What were we talking about?" Ellen says, "You were explaining why you didn't bring me any flowers."
Friday November 29,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, ratbert, confirmation, hearing, supreme court, character, witness, nominee, hiney, news, liar, nuts
Transcript
At Dogbert's confirmation hearing, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee asks Ratbert, "Mister Ratbert, you've been called as a character witness." Ratbert says, "The nominee once called me a little hiney . . ." A picture of Ratbert appears on the front page of a newspaper. The headlines say "Liar!" and "Probably Nuts!!"
Tuesday December 03,
1991
Tags language, Dilbert, Wally, zimbu, zoo, engineer, cafeteria, donuts, skills, staff, meeting, monkey
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of Zimbu the Monkey's desk and says, "Look, Zimbu, you might have learned language skills at the zoo, but it takes more than that to be an engineer." Wally enters and says, "Dilbert, Zimbu, let's hit the cafeteria for morning donuts." Dilbert, Wally and Zimbu sit at a table eating donuts. Dilbert says, "Okay, after ten a.m. it takes more than language skills to be an engineer." Wally says, "Not today -- we have a staff meeting."
Friday December 06,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, electric, razor, burn, face, joke, toaster, shave, problem
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"
Saturday December 07,
1991
Tags autumn, Dogbert, night, Dilbert, eyes, moon, mystery, magic, lips, earthworms, hideous, red, sidewalk, rain, storm, home, kiss, worms
Transcript
Dilbert sits on a couch holding hands with a woman. Dilbert says, "Your eyes are like the moon on an autumn night, full of mystery and magic." Dilbert continues, "Your lips are like earthworms, painted a hideous red and caught on the sidewalk during a rainstorm." Dilbert arrives at home with bruises on his face and broken glasses. Dogbert asks, "Home early?" Dilbert replies, "At least I didn't have to kiss the worms."
Wednesday December 25,
1991
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, invented, auto petter, machine, dumbest, idea
Transcript
Dilbert holds a device and says to Dogbert, "I invented an auto-petter machine for you." Dilbert straps the machine to Dogbert's back. The auto-petter has a hand that rests on Dogbert's head. Dogbert says, "This is perhaps your dumbest idea ever." Dilbert starts the device and kneels on the floor in front of Dogbert. Dilbert says, "You like it. Admit it." Dogbert says, "Leave us alone."
Thursday December 26,
1991
Tags blame, budget, Dilbert, the boss, empowered, decisions, employees, calculated, risks, new, Word
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and asks, "What did you mean when you said all employees are empowered?" Dilbert continues, "Does that mean I can control my own budget, make decisions without twelve levels of approval, and take calculated risks on my own?" The Boss replies, "No, it's just a way to blame employees for not doing the things we tell them not to do." Dilbert hangs his head and says, "No wonder you needed a new word."
Sunday December 29,
1991
Tags curiosity, information, secret, Dilbert, meeting, brief, companys, policy, locked, night, great, value, competitors, companies, pay, annual, salary, best, work
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the front of a conference room. He says, "I've been asked to brief everybody on the company's policy for protecting secret information." Dilbert continues, "All secret information must be locked up at night." Dilbert continues, "Our secrets could be of great value to our competitors." Dilbert continues, "In fact, some companies try to buy the secrets of their competitors." A woman asks, "Just out of curiosity, how much would our competitors pay for our secrets?" Dilbert replies, "Oh, I dunno . . . Maybe several times your annual salary." The people at the table smirk at each other. Dilbert thinks, "I don't think this was some of my best work."
Wednesday January 01,
1992
Tags Dilbert, intimidation, respect, humans, elf magic, magic, elves, verbal, bozo, chubby, karl, donuts, shut up
Transcript
An elf says to three other elves, "The humans are not afraid of our elf magic. We must gain their respect through verbal intimidation." Dilbert sits at a table with a box of donuts and a glass of milk in front of him. The elves shout, "Hey, Bozo! We're talking to you, Chubby!" The elves walk away with donuts around their bodies. An elf says, "And then Karl says 'Do you think you're going to eat ALL of those donuts?'" Karl thinks, "Shut up."

