Fired Comic Strips - Page 11
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
151 Results for Fired
View 101 - 110 results for fired comic strips. Discover the best "Fired" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 13,
2010
Tags new employee, coworker, meeting, introduce, front, marketing, social media, facebook, twitter, blog, scared, point, accuse, fire, business, technology
Transcript
The Boss says, "Beth is our new marketing manager for social media." The Boss says, "By the way, company policy forbids the use of Facebook and Twitter at work. And we don't trust you to work from home." The Boss says, "If you blog about how lame we are, you're fired!!!" Beth thinks, "First day, not so good."
Sunday November 28,
2010
Tags meeting, pep talk, ceo, angry, silent, worry, front, motivation, dumb, hate, bosses, business
Transcript
The CEO pep talk CEO says, "I want to know I can count on every one of you!" CEO says, "What's wrong with these people?" Dilbert says, "Well? I fired that guy this morning. His last day is tomorrow." Boss says, "That one retires at the end of the month." The Boss says, "Those three are contractors. I didn't renew their contracts." The Boss says, "The rest of them believe that motivation is how the powerful steal from the dumb." CEO says, "Tell them I hate their guts." The Boss says, "I did that in the pre-meeting."
Saturday June 18,
2011
Tags anxiety, work ethic, worry, indispensible, fired, useless, riskier, toe clip, 20 years of service
Transcript
Asok: Wally, should I try to become indispensable so I won't be fired? Wally: No. Indispensable people end up working too hard because they can't risk showing anyone else how to do what they do. Asok: Being useless seems riskier. Wally: Have you seen the tie clip I got for 20 years of service?
Sunday September 11,
2011
Tags employees, unemployed, job performance, fire someone, cubicle, fired, wake up call, greatness, business
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs." Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!
Sunday November 20,
2011
Tags crimes, gadgets, inventions, world class invenotr, invented prodcuts, key memeber, fired for stealing, stuff to steal, high five, hits boss
Transcript
Boss: I hired a world-class inventor. Meet Toby. When he worked for our competitor, he invented their coolest product. Toby: I was just a member of a team. Boss: A key member! Toby: Until they fired me for stealing. Wally: You came to the right place. We have tons of stuff to steal and no one ever gets caught! Toby: Give me a high five with a boss head in the middle! Noise: SLAP! Toby: That's the only thing I ever invented. Wally: Have you seen our storage closet?
Tuesday December 11,
2012
Tags business ethics, mergers & acquisitions, redendancy, hard work, fired, card board boxes
Transcript
Boss: Ted, the merger has made your job redundant. As a reward for your years of hard work, feel free to use one of our cardboard boxes to get your junk out of here. Uh-oh. It looks like we forgot to hide the good boxes.
Sunday March 10,
2013
Tags work ethic, fired, programming code, undocumented, passwords, death spiral, huge raise
Transcript
Boss: Wally, you have accomplished none of your goals. I have to let you go. Wally: Actually, I accomplished a lot. I spent the past ten years creating a tangle of undocumented programming code. Every one of our major systems is linked to it. If I don't enter a password every day, the entire company will go into a technology death spiral. If you value your job, you'll give me a huge raise and dance on this table like a monkey!!! Boss: Let's call it a tie. Wally: Yeah, I'm good with that.
Sunday June 23,
2013
Tags anger, executives, happiness, deadline, no disturbance, threat, fired, do/dont, sexist, powertrip, euphoria, overpaid, psychology
Transcript
Boss: I'm on a deadline, so don't let anyone disturb me for at least an hour. If anyone gets past you, you're fired. CEO: Tell your boss to come to my office now. Carol: He'll fire me if I disturb him. CEO: I'm your CEO! Disturb your boss now or I'll fire you. Boss: I heard that, and if you disturb me, you're fired. CEO: You're fired if you don't! Boss: You're fired if you do! CEO: Whoa! Hold on! I'm getting a sudden wave of euphoria. Boss: Me too! CEO: Is it because we're overpaid? Boss: It... it feels... wonderful!
Sunday November 03,
2013
Tags hypocrisy, respect, succeed, treat each other well, video recording, google glasses, recording confidential info, fired, insulting, final check, name calling, ironic
Transcript
CEO: We only succeed when we treat each other with respect. Are you video-recording me with those Google glasses? Dilbert: Huh? CEO: You're fired for recording a confidential meeting! Pack your bags, you worthless piece of garbage! I got your final check right here! Dilbert: These are my regular glasses. Having cleared that up, you were saying something about respect? CEO: Settle down, four-eyes. This isn't over.
Tuesday November 12,
2013
Tags hypocrisy, mobile (cell) phones, phone rining, fired, judge, ironic, threat, legal
Transcript
Boss: Anyone whose phone rings during this meeting will be fired on the spot. RRRING! Stop judging me with your eyes. Dilbert: It's the only thing that keeps them open.


