Fix Her Comic Strips - Page 11

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128 Results for Fix Her

View 101 - 110 results for fix her comic strips. Discover the best "Fix Her" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robot Dispenses Meds

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Robot Dispenses Meds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #medicine, #pill, #anxiety, #deception, #control, #manipulation

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Robot: My biosensors detect an onset of social anxiety. My internal 3-D printer is making the meds to fix you. I am ready to dispense. Please lie on the ground with your mouth open. Dilbert: This feels like a bad precedent.

Stress Typo On Website

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Stress Typo On Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #health, #wellness, #corporate policy, #stress, #medical leave, #laziness, #loophole, #typo, #mistake, #work ethic

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CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.

Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School

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Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #gender, #feminism, #technology, #Women, #obliviousness, #bad idea

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Boss: Wally, I need you to talk to my daughter's school about careers in stem fields. Wally: Why me? Boss: All the good people are busy. Wally: Fair enough. Boss: We want to fix the gender imbalance. Wally: I'll wear my good shirt.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #punctuality, #late, #excuses, #traffic, #sleep, #time management, #health

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Tina: Sorry I'm late. Traffic was terrible. Dilbert: Isn't the traffic from your house always terrible at this time of day? Tina: Exactly! That's why I'm late every day. Dilbert: Do you see any way you could fix that? Tina: I can't control the traffic. Dilbert: You could leave earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't get enough sleep. Dilbert; You could go to bed earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't have time to watch Netflix until two in the morning. Do you want me to hate my life? Dilbert: I didn't until now.

Bug In The Platform

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Bug In The Platform - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #excuse, #laziness, #proof

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Boss: Did you add the new feature yet? Wally: No, I had to fix a critical bug in the platform first. Boss: I have no way to verify that claim. Wally: That's why it's a good one.

Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded

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Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #forgetful, #forgetting, #money, #budget, #oversight

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Dilbert: I don't see my project in the new budget. Boss: Oh, right. I forgot all about you. Dilbert: That sounds easy to fix. Boss: Yup. MY problem will be solved as soon as you leave.

Immersive Vr Employee Is Creepy

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Immersive Vr Employee Is Creepy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #reality, #virtual reality, #vr, #sanity, #hallucination, #fantasy, #imagination, #therapy, #psychology

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Dilbert: We hired an immersive VR employee and it's freaking me out. I can only see him when I wear my VR goggles. I feel as if he's always watching me. Doctor: Sounds like you're crazy. I can fix that with a prescription cocktail that will turn you into an entirely new person. Kevin: Run.

Estimate Of Timeline

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Estimate Of Timeline - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #deception, #deadline, #goals, #ultimatum

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Boss: How fast can you fix the bug? Dilbert: I won't know until I dig in. Boss: Give me a random guess and I promise I won't hold you to it. Dilbert: Okay, three days. Boss: Now write that into your goals and get it done in three days or else. Dilbert: Why do I keep falling for that?!!!

Software Is Never Finished

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Software Is Never Finished  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #deadline, #guidance, #lying

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Boss: Is the software finished? Dilbert: Software is never finished. Boss: Did you fix all of the bugs? Dilbert: There's no way to know. Boss: I can't manage you if you don't learn to lie. Dilbert: Okay, the software will be perfect in 2.3 days.

Fix It With Marketing

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Fix It With Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #lying, #ethics, #advertising, #deception, #business

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Dilbert: Our product has fewer features and a higher price compared to our competitors. Boss: We'll fix that with a little thing I call "marketing." Dilbert: Lying is unethical. Boss: That's why we only mislead.