Flying Monkey Comic Strips - Page 11

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122 Results for Flying Monkey

View 101 - 110 results for flying monkey comic strips. Discover the best "Flying Monkey" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #copyright & trademark, #earmuffs for oysters, #insane, #lawsuit monkey, #lawyer, #legal

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Salesman: Do you mind if I pretend to be helpful while I awkwardly try to upsell you? Dilbert: Nope. Do you mind if I pretend to be listening while I think about other things? Salesman: Cool. Dilbert: I'm glad I don't have your job. Salesman: How old is your refrigerator? Do you like ice?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dogs & puppies, #service monkey, #walking and texting, #guide obstacle

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Dilbert: Hey, Alice, do you have... Dog: She can't hear you. She's walking and texting. That's it... Easy does it. I'll guide you around this obstacle. Dilbert: What did I just see? Wally: I'm saving up for a service monkey.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #accomodate cup, #coffe cup, #head flattened, #job interview, #monkey, #surgically flattened, #starbucks, #barista, #animals

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wally: Tell me why I should hire you as my service monkey, Carl. Carl: I worked as a starbucks barista for eight years and my head has been surgically flattened to stabilize your coffee cup. Dilbert: Impressive. Wally: This is nothing, You should see how well he interviews,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #service monkey, #questions, #respect, #monkey, #power point slides, #animals

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Carl: Im Wally's service monkey, I'll be fielding any questions directed at wally. The Boss: With all due respect, a business meeting is no place for a monkey. Carl: With all due respect, that was a stronger argument before I saw your powerpoint slides.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #service animal, #monkey, #coffee cup, #dignified, #coffee warm, #animals

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Carl: Thought being a service animal would be a noble calling. But I worry that our relationship has drifted into something less dignified. wally: Thats what keeps my coffee warm. CarL: I am so angry right now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #monkeys, #big picture, #motivated, #monkey, #assignment, #eating banana, #imitating monkey, #animals

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Dilbert: I would feel more motivated if I knew how my assignment fits into the big picture. Boss: You don't need to be motivated. A monkey could do your assignment while eating a banana. Like this. Ooh-ooh-ooh! Dilbert: I think we're moving in the wrong direction.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #fired, #programming code, #undocumented, #passwords, #death spiral, #huge raise

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Boss: Wally, you have accomplished none of your goals. I have to let you go. Wally: Actually, I accomplished a lot. I spent the past ten years creating a tangle of undocumented programming code. Every one of our major systems is linked to it. If I don't enter a password every day, the entire company will go into a technology death spiral. If you value your job, you'll give me a huge raise and dance on this table like a monkey!!! Boss: Let's call it a tie. Wally: Yeah, I'm good with that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #robot, #water damage, #hose, #spary, #military planes, #flying, #window, #personally, #hurt feelings

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The boss: Your warranty doesn't cover a bad attitude, but it does cover water damage. Dont take this personally, I just need to slowly kill you with a forceful jet of water. SLOOSH! Dilbert: Why is the sky full of military drones? The boss: How took it personally.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2013's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #google, #evolved, #pure energy, #apathy, #in cop, #coffee, #desk, #engineering

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Behold my greatness! I was na engineer at google before I evolved to pure energy! Behold my path that will suck the energy out of you like a monkey on an orange. Good bot, Right in the cup.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #honesty, #criticize bahavior, #monkey on crack, #moron

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Boss: Criticize the behavior, not the person. The email you sent to everyone looks as if it had been written by a monkey on crack. Just to be clear, you are terrific, but everything you do is exactly what a moron would do.