Free Book Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

372 Results for Free Book

View 101 - 110 results for free book comic strips. Discover the best "Free Book" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 1996's comic on:


Tags #injury free days, #very ironic, #chart injuries, #falls, #putting up sign accident

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks by a workman standing on a chair and nailing a sign to the wall. The sign says, "10 Injury Free Days." Dilbert hears, "Bam! Aaaeeii!! R-r-roll thud." Dilbert stands over the workman who has fallen off the chair. Dilbert says, "This is very ironic." The workman says, "No, it was ironic when it happened eleven days ago."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #day care facility, #free range day care, #roam free, #economical, #powerpoint lsides

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dogbert sit at a table. Dogbert shows the Boss a document and says, "Here's my final plan for the company's day care facility." Dogbert continues, "I call it free range day care. The children are allowed to roam free among the cubicles. It's very economical." Two small children stand in Wally's cubicle. The boy says, "I don't believe he's really an evil troll." The girl says, "Look at the 'Powerpoint' slides he's making. It's not human."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1996's comic on:


Tags #accounting, #airfare, #business trip, #saturday, #reimburse, #saturday hotel costs, #business activity, #understand, #economic choices, #waste money, #ugly brain dead troll, #free lunch money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches the cave where the accounting department is located. He groans. Dilbert tells a troll, "I saved $500 in airfare by extending my business trip to Saturday." Dilbert asks, "Why won't you reimburse me for the Saturday hotel costs?" The troll replies, "Saturday was not a business-related activity." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Let me see if I understand this . . ." Dilbert continues, "It's NOT business-related to make sensible economic choices . . ." Dilbert continues, "But it IS business-related to waste money like an ugly, brain-dead troll . . ." Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and wearing disheveled clothes. He tells Dogbert, "Then he beat me up and took my lunch money." Dogbert asks, "Are you saying I can get free lunch money by beating you up?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 1996's comic on:


Tags #trade show, #free stuff, #cheap pens, #eye contact, #hit buffet

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "At the trade show." Wally asks a man at a booth, "What kind of free stuff do you have?" Wally opens a shopping bag and says, "Cheap pens? That's original. Okay, fill 'er up. But I'm afraid I can't give you any eye contact." Wally walks away holding a bag of free stuff and thinking, "That's enough industry research for today. It's time to hit the buffet."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 1996's comic on:


Tags #business traveler, #wrinkle free, #the wrapper, #wrinkled suit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man and a woman. He is wearing a wrinkled suit. The other people stare at Dilbert. Dilbert says, "When I bought this suit, it said 'wrinkle-free' on the wrapper." The man asks, "The wrapper?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #buying car, #touch negotiator, #suggested retail price, #invisible spary, #scurvy, #tax audits, #airbag, #gravel, #lease terms, #engraved, #hood ornamnet

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Buying a car." Dilbert sits across from a car salesman's desk. The salesman says, "You're one tough negotiator." Dilbert replies, "Thanks." The salesman says, "It only took you four hours to get me all the way down to the manufacturer's suggested retail price." The salesman cries, "There's no profit left!! My family will go hungry!!" The man bawls. The salesman stops crying and says, "Sorry. I assume you want the rust inhibitor coating for only $500." Dilbert replies, "Um . . .Yeah. Rust is bad." The man jumps up and shouts, "Yes!! Ka-ching ka-ching!" The salesman says, "Sorry. We also have an invisible spray that protects against scurvy and tax audits." Dilbert replies, "Well . . . Okay." The salesman says, "Initial here if you want your airbag to be full of fresh aspen air instead of gravel." Dilbert reads the contract and says, "Only $600." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "And the lease terms are engraved on this free hood ornament!" Dogbert replies, "Be glad they didn't install it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #stop watch, #testing theory, #people get dumber, #emotional intelligence, #twelve seconds

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert looks at a stopwatch and says, "Don't mind the stopwatch. I'm testing the theory that people get dumber every minute." Dilbert says, "It's not so simple, Dogbert. You also have to consider my 'emotional intelligence,' which is defined in a book I haven't read." Dogbert stops the watch and says, "Twelve seconds." Dilbert sits up and says angrily, "Give me that watch, you hog!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 1997's comic on:


Tags #business plan, #disarray, #free time, #deliverables, #joy, #perverse sources, #Alternative

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally tells Dilbert, "Good news! Our business plan is in complete disarray!" Wally shouts, "Free time!! No deliverables!!! And it's not OUR fault!" Dilbert shouts, "Yippee!!" They celebrate. Dilbert asks, "Do you realize that all our joy comes from perverse sources?" Wally replies, "I didn't know there was an alternative."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boss, #umbrella, #doaked, #clothes microwave, #dry off, #tricked alice, #boss naked, #breakroom

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert and Wally, "I forgot my umbrella. I'm soaked." His clothes are dripping wet. Dilbert says, "Why don't you toss your clothes in the microwave and dry them off?" The Boss asks, "Would that work?" Dilbert and Wally are silent. The Boss stuffs his clothes in the microwave. Dilbert says, "Sixty minutes ought to do it." Wally covers his eyes because the Boss is naked. They shut the door on the Boss. Dilbert says, "We'll guard the door to the break room." As they walk away, Wally says, "You know, ever since the downsizing began, I've felt much less company loyalty." Dilbert says, "Me too." Alice asks, "Why are you two so happy?" Wally says, "There are free goodies in the break room."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1997's comic on:


Tags #business consulatnts, #common sense, #debunks effectiveness, #logically flwaed, #no common sense, #writing book, #mass market

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at a desk typing. He tells Dilbert, "I'm writing a book that debunks the effectiveness of business consultants." Dilbert says, "But common sense would say that you're being a consultant yourself, so your opinion is logically flawed." Dilbert says, "Only people with no common sense will buy your book." Dogbert replies, "I prefer to call them the mass market."