Idiot Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
136 Results for Idiot
View 101 - 110 results for idiot comic strips. Discover the best "Idiot" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 30,
2015
Tags martial arts, yoga, stupid, idiot, confusion, tai chi, karate, misunderstanding
Transcript
Boss: I signed up for a martial arts class. It's something called "yoga." Carol: Have you killed anyone yet? Boss: Not on purpose.
Sunday November 01,
2015
Tags temper, anger, calm, email, frustration, internet, communication, reaction, technology
Transcript
Alice: What the... Dilbert: It's not a good idea to answer email while you're angry. Alice: I know, but this idiot... Dilbert: Hold... That's it. Deep breaths. Hold... Hold... Alice: Phew! You were right. I should not get worked up over one idiot. He wasn't working alone! Dilbert: I'm out.
Wednesday February 17,
2016
Dilbert Gets Ready To Babysit
Tags parent, Parenting, babysitter, babysitting, children, listening, Family
Transcript
Dilbert: Is there anything I need to know before I babysit your kids tonight? Carol: They won't do anything you ask, and they don't respond to threats or consequences. Dilbert: So... what am I supposed to do? Carol: Try finding some idiot to babysit for you.
Thursday March 10,
2016
Asok Negotiates With Boss
Tags compensation, haggle, money, negotiating, negotiation, obliviousness, salary, trick, eric scott
Transcript
Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!
Thursday April 07,
2016
Ted Is Not That Dumb
Tags joke, mean, bully, insult, death, idiot, idiocy, stupid, dumb, guest artist, brenna thummler, medical
Transcript
Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.
Friday April 08,
2016
Commemorating Ted
Tags ravine, meanness, insult, idiot, guest artist, brenna thummler
Transcript
Carol: We're having a get-together to commemorate Ted, who drove his car into a ravine because you said he should. Dilbert: He wasn't good at handling criticism. Carol: You could have been more constructive. Dilbert: By building a bridge over the ravine?
Sunday May 29,
2016
Tags coworkers, workspace, noise, cubicle, open floorplan, etiquette, fingernails, toenails
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.
Tuesday July 12,
2016
The Comparison Problem
Tags entrepreneur, comparison, power, money, perspective, happiness, psychology
Transcript
CEO: How'd it go when you told your staff to act more like entrepreneurs? Boss: Not so good. They were happier when they were comparing their careers to other people in cubicles. Dilbert: What?! This idiot is worth a billion dollars now??? Asok: Gaaa!!! I'm a failure!
Thursday January 12,
2017
Coaching Alice
Friday March 03,
2017
Wally Offended Everyone
Tags offense, offensive, sensitivity, political correctness, politically correct
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I"m getting reports that you have offended every single employee in this company in the past week. Wally: Have I offended you? Boss: No, I"m not a sensitive idiot like the rest of them. Wally: Doesn't that mean the problem is on their end? Boss: That doesn't matter as much as you think it should.

