Idiot Comic Strips - Page 11

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136 Results for Idiot

View 101 - 110 results for idiot comic strips. Discover the best "Idiot" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags martial arts, yoga, stupid, idiot, confusion, tai chi, karate, misunderstanding

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Boss: I signed up for a martial arts class. It's something called "yoga." Carol: Have you killed anyone yet? Boss: Not on purpose.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temper, anger, calm, email, frustration, internet, communication, reaction, technology

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Alice: What the... Dilbert: It's not a good idea to answer email while you're angry. Alice: I know, but this idiot... Dilbert: Hold... That's it. Deep breaths. Hold... Hold... Alice: Phew! You were right. I should not get worked up over one idiot. He wasn't working alone! Dilbert: I'm out.

Dilbert Gets Ready To Babysit

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Dilbert Gets Ready To Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags parent, Parenting, babysitter, babysitting, children, listening, Family

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Dilbert: Is there anything I need to know before I babysit your kids tonight? Carol: They won't do anything you ask, and they don't respond to threats or consequences. Dilbert: So... what am I supposed to do? Carol: Try finding some idiot to babysit for you.

Asok Negotiates With Boss

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Asok Negotiates With Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags compensation, haggle, money, negotiating, negotiation, obliviousness, salary, trick, eric scott

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Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!

Ted Is Not That Dumb

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Ted Is Not That Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, mean, bully, insult, death, idiot, idiocy, stupid, dumb, guest artist, brenna thummler, medical

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Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.

Commemorating Ted

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Commemorating Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ravine, meanness, insult, idiot, guest artist, brenna thummler

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Carol: We're having a get-together to commemorate Ted, who drove his car into a ravine because you said he should. Dilbert: He wasn't good at handling criticism. Carol: You could have been more constructive. Dilbert: By building a bridge over the ravine?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coworkers, workspace, noise, cubicle, open floorplan, etiquette, fingernails, toenails

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Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.

The Comparison Problem

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The Comparison Problem  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags entrepreneur, comparison, power, money, perspective, happiness, psychology

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CEO: How'd it go when you told your staff to act more like entrepreneurs? Boss: Not so good. They were happier when they were comparing their careers to other people in cubicles. Dilbert: What?! This idiot is worth a billion dollars now??? Asok: Gaaa!!! I'm a failure!

Coaching Alice

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Coaching Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coaching, mentor, boss, manager, Advice

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Boss: Do you want some coaching? Alice: Heck yes. If you find someone who knows my job better than I do, send them my way. Boss: Maybe I could share my wisdom with you. Alice: Can you teach me how to stay calm when some idiot interrupts me?

Wally Offended Everyone

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Wally Offended Everyone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags offense, offensive, sensitivity, political correctness, politically correct

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Boss: Wally, I"m getting reports that you have offended every single employee in this company in the past week. Wally: Have I offended you? Boss: No, I"m not a sensitive idiot like the rest of them. Wally: Doesn't that mean the problem is on their end? Boss: That doesn't matter as much as you think it should.