Judicial System Comic Strips - Page 11
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254 Results for Judicial System
View 101 - 110 results for judicial system comic strips. Discover the best "Judicial System" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 06,
2003
Tags #dismissal email foloowed, #found pen, #human resources, #layoffs, #mass email sent, #missed bid deadline, #not enough bandwidth, #business
Transcript
Carol is sitting at her desk. She picks up a pen and thinks, "Who left their pen at my desk?" Carol continues to think, "I'd better send out a companywide e-mail to find out." A coworker responds to Carol's e-mail, "I can't believe you're wasting everyone's time with this!" Alice types, "Stop using the 'reply to all' feature you morons!" Carol looks down at the pen again and thinks, "Wait.. I think this might be my pen. I'd better send a correction." Dilbert sits across from the Boss. Dilbert says, "We missed a bid deadline because our e-mail system was overloaded." The Boss thinks, "Layoffs." The Boss hands Carol a piece of paper and says, "Send this list to Human Resources." Carol exclaims, "Do I look like I'm made of time?!!"
Tuesday July 22,
2003
Tags #mandatory online training, #system crashed, #retake training
Transcript
"You're the only one who hasn't finished the mandatory online six sigma training." "I finished it, but the system crashed before it stored my data." "This is when you say, 'There's no need to retake the training. I'll just check off your name.'" "Are you new on this planet?"
Tuesday August 12,
2003
Tags #budget request, #priority, #highest priority, #mockery, #low priority
Transcript
Asok: What is the priority of your budget request? Alice: Highest of the high. Asok: everyone rated their own budget needs "Highest Priority" It is a mockery f the priority system! Asok: Name one thing that everyone would agree is a low priority. Alice: whatever you're doing.
Monday September 08,
2003
Tags #send broadband, #send data, #sewer system
Transcript
The Boss: Our competitors found a way to send broadband internet traffic over the power grid. I want you to find a way to send data via the sewer system. Wally: I thought I was already doing it.
Tuesday September 09,
2003
Tags #internet traffic, #good thing, #under sewage, #breathe through straw, #grateful, #sewer system
Transcript
Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"
Thursday October 02,
2003
Tags #new hire, #guy, #bothering workers, #love golf, #rain tomorrow, #plans, #sad paper body, #roll in salt, #scoring system
Transcript
Man: "I love golf. Golfing is fun. It's a good day to golf. Do you want to go golfing in the rain tomorrow at 6 A.M.?" Wally: "No, thanks. I have plans to sandpaper my entire body and roll around in salt." Man: "I hope no one ever creates a scoring system for that."
Thursday October 16,
2003
Tags #egos, #europe to denver, #lies, #made up, #management retreat, #middle management, #press release, #top
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't imagine you told everyone at the management retreat.... But our marketing department issued press release sago were designing a tunnel linking Europe to Denver. FLASHBACK Man: Im installing a new sprinkler system in my lawn. The boss: Must top.
Thursday November 06,
2003
Tags #new guy, #new hire, #bottleneck, #bill, #titanium
Transcript
Bottleneck Bill Bottlkeneck Bill: All purchase orders must be approved by me. I'll be too busy to approve anything but at least we have the system. Its titanium. Nice try. Alice: GRRRRR
Thursday January 08,
2004
Tags #involuntary sepration, #payroll, #fired, #can't touch anything, #way of saying fired
Transcript
"Ted, you're going to experience an involuntary separation from payroll." "I'm fired." "No-o-o-o. It's just that you won't be part of the payroll system." "And you're not allowed to touch anything."
Saturday March 06,
2004
Tags #cpr on blob, #fire in break room, #sprinkler system, #water melketed, #witch melted
Transcript
The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."